The phone rang, and I saw the number as it rang in my hand, okay here it is. “Can I speak with Lisa Boyd please”? I knew I had to be cordial, my character is consistent with that of grace. On this day I admittedly was battling the inward struggle of being poked, prodded, and stripped down to my bare body of awkwardness.
Swallowing back the nightmare of that cold sterile table, I knew all to well I would soon not by my choice be bottoms up. I barely managed a muffled “this is she”. All the nurse spoke on was all in one ear, and out the next. I had been here so many times I could not even count on both hands. I had the nurses script memorized by heart.
So…no deodorant, hairspray/gels, jewelry, makeup, anticoagulants, no shaving my armpits, yadda yadda…
I was just so exasperated by the three for one special I was getting. Three different spots of concern, and three totally specific yet distinct biopsies. Three all in one swell swoop, woo-hoo where does one sing up for these things (with much cynicism)? Good grief, none of this was working well with my heart. I could not play this off with as much mockery as I had wanted. It was eroding me from the inside out.
My attitude was quite disconcerting one of injustice all most. I had a how dare they think they can do this to me mentality. That was when God brought me to a place of not forgetting where I came from, how far He by His grace He had brought me. At this point in my 46 years here on earth I was given the gift of sobriety six and a half years before this new found for me inconvenience. This was a disturbance in every way to what was my life now, it was tragic. It was uncomfortable, and I had no peace. All I felt was a lack of serenity.
It was what is called “life on life’s terms”. I had the ability at this time to have a unified faith in God that He had every part of my story already written. He was the author, and as well the ultimate surgeon. I had the qualifications in this time to pray that God would reveal His very presence to my weary soul. I had an uncanny way of analyzing the tripe out of everything if I was not God conscious. I could not afford at this time to be there, I had to “keep it simple”. I had to have a United front with God, one that took away my instability. I knew the key to my tranquillity was willingness, and with that surrender would follow suit.
And there it was, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.
The day of my appointment had arrived, and so we went. We were hand in hand tightly gripped my husband and I. Praying our way through the whole drive. We arrived at my biopsy appointment before the roosters crow. I undressed down to nothing. I laid down on the cold sterile table allowing the nurses to posture my body in all sorts of cumbersome ways. I didn’t like any of it, and I wished I did not have to be there with one breast hanging through a hole cut in the table. I wished I was not going to be poked, and prodded, and my breast was not going to be manipulated by hands that weren’t my own.
My three for one special that did have risk of infection, and hematoma’s had begun. I could feel the numbing needle, as well the dripping of my own blood as the vacuum was being placed for the first biopsy. I laid as still as one could lay, like a corpse. My heart though was beating to the beat of my makers, I was so alive with the spirit of my loving God. I was at peace.
Hours passed, I was washed, and bandaged up. I was given ice packs, and at home care instructions. I proceeded with a little help to dress. I was wobbly, and painfully walked to the waiting room, where I reached for my husbands hand. We walked out hand in hand tightly gripped. Linked to our God as we now had a grueling wait of the results. Our journey of surrender had only just begun. “One day at time”, we were drawn into God consolidated in our prayers. We were three, a triple braided cord bound by His grace.
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Written for: word-challenge-of-the-day-United