There was no rhyme or reason with alcohol and I, death was my play day after day

There was no rhyme or reason to anything I did in a day nor what I would say. I was captivated by the pull of the bottle as it helped my feelings not to be at play

With each drink making all of what was MY life go away. The pull so great. Enebriate allow me to dance with the bottle day after day, adversity chants

I could never get my fill, I was seeking my own kill. The thrill of all the chaotic madness to sit at bay. Leave for a whole day. Play with me, drink me to sleep. Sing me a lullaby. All in my head. Drink me deaf, and dumb

Wake again to bathe it into my pores. An alcolohic insanity. Travesty awaits. Pick the bottle back up again, Lisa was ready for her game

There was no rhyme or reason I just wanted it to all go away. Who cares how you feel, I don’t feel so just leave me alone to wallow in my pity. Oh you hurt, whatever. You don’t even know my pain

Can you imagine trying to reason with a person such as who I was? Lost in the fuzz. Just let me get buzzed, and sit in my selfiness. Drunkin stupor. This was my 24/7. My mind so crazed it was my heaven

God could not touch my callsoused heart. It was an art. Wearing my mask, and hiding alcohol in my skin

Thank God for His grace and He shook me from this place. Turned my life upside down. Saved me from my drown. I was a bottom feeder before, but man did I ever hit bottom. There was nothing more to do

I desperately needed the ryhme and the reason. Tis the season for change. No more deranged. I wanted a rhythm in my heart, and needed to feel my pain. Stained as I was it was time to trade my bottle for the cross

Put it down drank the grace God poured out. Drink it daily. One day at a time. My life has been given back to me. No more trying to slit my wrists with alcoholic bent

I sit here in awe at all my Lord has done. I see the sun/son! My days are not dark, I walk in the light. Alcohols just an excuse I do not adore. Just a horror 

My hands raise up in thanks for He saved my life from my own self. All I want is His will. Praising God his mercies are new every morning. For this story God gets all the glory!

Romans 3:24 But by the free gift of God’s grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus, who sets them free

I am today in a recovery program that gives me the tools to live life on life’s term without having to pick up a bottle, this is contingent on my spiritual house!


9 thoughts on “There was no rhyme or reason with alcohol and I, death was my play day after day

    1. Thank you so much! I appreciate it. I went off the beaten path, and started doing photo prompts. To my amazement I have been getting a huge response. It has been ages since I wrote anything fiction. I was starting to feel my own writing wasn’t as good as my wing it fiction. I will stick to both, I really have enjoyed doing those photo prompts. It adds some depth to my blogging experience. It was nice to hear from you today so I know I am still on the right path with my own stuff. Have a great day, as you can tell my mind has been whirling lol. 🌪

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your doing fine, but yes keep the light on with your testimony. It serves others and us as well. It is hard to become depressed, when one is thankful for deliverence. Celebrating the new you, the transformed you and sober you reminds you that there is nothing there! So spread your wings, and return to the air that is most familiar and intimate. hugs! you rock cause you stand on the rock!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Awe wow thanks! You’re poetic in comments too! Look at you, I do that too! I so appreciate the kind words. I am going to do both, because it really adds some pizzazz to my writing day. I am home all day anyways, so why not! It brings a little more spice in to this otherwise mundane life lol. No for real I love my life because I am saved by the Grace of God! I will be forever eternally grateful to my Lord! He saved a wretch like me! Blessings, Lisa

        Liked by 1 person

    1. His Grace pours out on my life daily! I am so grateful to be free of that life, and new with His face! I love the Lord for he heard my cry! I always belonged to Him, I walked away in defiance. My story is much like the song the 99 (Reckless Love). He saves the one every time, chases them down. He was always with me even in my darkest hour pulling on me to come back to Him. Finally I surrendered when the rock fell on me! So grateful I came to! No greater love known to man! Thank you for your comment, and for reading!Blessings Lisa

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s