I am a recovering alcoholic, I will always be an alcoholic. I have God, and a recovery program that helps me “one day at time” live life on lives terms.
I could not have imagined even an hour without a drink, let alone a few. 24 hours seemed nearly impossible. Here I sit with 7 years, and 2 plus months of continual sobriety.
I lived to drink, and drank to live. Anything not to feel. My whole life became a lie. I was deceptive, a thief, and my heart was calloused.
I woke up putting alcohol in my coffee (oh the thought how gross), and I thought I had everyone fooled. With breath that reeked, and words slurred. I was so far from the God I once adored. The shame I felt, was killing me. My life was held on by a thread. A thread, that at any moment was about to snap. I was in a place of complete incomprehensible demoralization. I was spiritually sick, and made myself insane. Every drink made me a little further from who I once was. How could I stop?
It came down to a very broken moment, a prayer that God would take this drink problem away from me. I was made very ill, which was not usually the case. I had the shakes uncontrollably, and the years of shame showered over me. I prayed for God to relieve of the bondage of self. I was on the run so very long. I was weary, my heart so tired.
That began what is now 7 plus years of sobriety. I have a daily reprieve with my loving God, and a program that too holds me accountable. It reaches in to the depth, and is the solution. Alcohol is, but a symptom. So I these two go hand in hand.
I can’t have sobriety without God, and without sobriety there is no God. So I have to keep my spiritual house clean. The cobweb is gone, but the spider is still there. There is nothing a drink will not make worse. I attend meetings regularly, and yes it is a program based off of anonymity. I chose to share my story. That is my choice.
All by the grace of God, and one day at time I get to be sober. God has to be my priority. God has to be my number 1, and I feel my program is a gift from God. I can’t ever forget where I came from, and humble is my feat. For there in an instant there goes I…
“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs
I am a miracle, I get to be part of a world of people of miracles just like me!