I admit I have been afraid

I admit yesterday I was bit testy after my pre-op surgery appointment.

I admit it seemed like I had a million papers to sign on Covid alone (so exaggeratory) but hey this is my story.

I admit I was saddened when my doctor said my mom can’t care for me after surgery since she works at the biggest hospital in our town. She would have had to self quarantine for 2 weeks prior. So whatever.

I admit I don’t really have a so whatever attitude I am just overwhelmed by all that was said. Covid has changed everything about this surgery.

I admit I need to get on my knees, and pray for God to take the anxiety as well agitation I am feeling at this moment. I need to give it all to Him.

I admit I am so far from perfect, and my attitude has been far from desirable.

I admit I need to pray for God to give me unshakeable faith. One that does not even flinch at the slightest discomfort. He will furnish the quiet place for my soul with all the furniture of faith. I need all the help I can get I admit.

I elect right now to be removed from the unrest of my soul. Beholding God’s calmness in my impatience, God’s patience in my limitations, God’s perfection. This is my election to be free of self, and allow the spirt to work within.

I admit I am of a human, with a spirit that needs attuned to my Heavenly Father today! I admit I have been afraid. I am ready for this breast cancer journey to be over. When really it is not up to me, so my plea get myself out of the way of His will for all of this today!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13



17 thoughts on “I admit I have been afraid

    1. Thank you so very much! I think I felt so very overwhelmed because we are moving too. A few have had to back out because they are Covid testing. They are the muscle behind our move. It is also supposed to snow the day we move. I can’t remember the last time Spokane had had snow before Halloween. It is very uncommon. It will be 33 degrees the day we move. I can’t wait to be done with both things. Moving, and surgery. So my days are busy, but man am I weary. So thank you so much! I appreciate you reading, and taking the time to comment! Blessings always Lisa

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You made me tear up big time! Wow thank you maybe that is what I needed to hear! God be with me today. It is gonna snow the day of our move. We never have snow before Halloween. It is said to be 33 degrees, I sure am ready for both to be over. Thank you for always being so kind! You’re such a gracious spirit! 💓💓

      Liked by 1 person

  1. It sounds like a really scary season, my dear.
    But in all, be reassured that you’re not alone. God is with you to be your strength in weakness, your faith in your despair, your light in any dark tunnels, your guide when you have to choose, your rock when you are fed up.
    Just keep on holding.

    You’re in my prayers and thoughts. It will end in praise. ✌🏾

    Sending you hugs 🤗🤗 and love 💗💓🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awee, thank you so very much for the words of our Lord. They fill my soul! I appreciate how beautiful, and uplifting you are! Thank you for taking the time out to say such encouraging, blessed words.
      All prayer is coveted. We have been asking all family/friends to pray! For I do trust my unknown future to a very known God! Blessings 💜 Lisa


  2. Oh Lisa, there’s nothing to be ashamed of because you’re afraid. God knows you’re frightened and He is with you. Just being at the hospital is enough to trigger off anxieties. That’s what I’ve found during the tests that I’ve been having. I’m okay as long as I’m not in the hospital and even a phone call from the consultant sets me off shaking! And you are going through so much more, especially with your move. You’d be superhuman to be able to take all that in your stride. Keep on as you are, making time to blog and take photographs whenever you can and, hopefully, get more rest . . . and pray. We’re all praying with you. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much, I am so very tired. I think the day is calling for me to nap. More tired than usual. I so appreciate the encouraging words! It was so frustrating hearing my mom can’t be my caregiver. My husband can’t take off any more time from work. So we are just really lifting that up in prayer! God so already knows all of this! Thank you for reaching out to me today! I think I am calling for a shower, and nap! Blessings dear friend, 💓🤍💓😴

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Blessings Lisa, I’m off to bed now too . . . it’s only about 10 p.m. here in the u.k., but this is an early night for me. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh wow, this all sounds so scary indeed! I will be praying for you. You are allowed to admit that you’re afraid, and thankfully you also admit that you trust in God.

    Liked by 1 person

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