Please let me add a disclaimer; I would like to explain this was my life as an alcoholic, married to an alcoholic. The insanity of the choices that were made, had no logic behind them. I still am able by the grace of God to find some humor in a few of our catastrophes.
My son had prayed for months every single night for a limousine, and sheep (yeah sheep kind of an odd prayer). I kid you not about 3 months after his continual prayer a super stretch limo pulled up in the round about out in front of our apt complex. My phone rang while in my hands, it was my then husband. “Look out window,” he said. What the…it was white with tinted windows, and it was a superstrech at that. He found this amusing as this was now our “family vehicle”. Bullet Hole decals in all its Glory. Lordy, Lordy! I would not have been surprised to have walked down, and find it full with sheep.
I told Eli to stop praying for such things. At first the kids were excited, it had purple velvet with L.E.D lights, a booming sound system, t.v., and could be equipped with any entertainment game system. Did I forget to mention the bar, oh yeah it had a bar.
This limo screamed tacky. It was the worst purchase he had made yet. I still was in shock that the title read our names. No way I could drive it, the length alone would be a nightmare with my lack depth perception.
So here are some very legit reasons besides the obvious a family should NEVER own limo..Unless you want to be a rapper. 🎧🎤
- Your kid gets asked if he is famous as he is dropped of at middle school, embarrassed to tell people that is his family car
- Your daughter gets hauled inside by the High School security guard. He proceeded to ask her who the man in the Fedora is that drives her to school in a limo. I mean really a Fedora, of course it was her pimp (I mean dad). He thought he was looser drug dealer. Wow! We made quite the impression.
- Dad leaves on a film shoot to Israel in the middle of winter, mom can’t drive it unless she wants vehicular homicide on her record.
- When traveling across the United States (which yes we did) it breaks down on a Mountian pass. Triple A comes to our aide claiming they can’t help, it is too long to go behind or on one of their trucks. Oh Crap!!
- When driving through small towns with a low clearance vehicle, and you cross over a rail rode tie leaving chunks of the car behind. Then having to Jimmy Rig it as no one in town knows what’s up.
- Your daughter is so embarrassed to be picked up in it she makes you park blocks away from her school. Even passing by without acknowledgment until her friends are long gone.
- Forget about going anywhere. Parking what is that?
- People honk, point, laugh, give the thumbs up. 👍ay! We are cool (not)!!
- The embarrassment when we do find a place we can go and instead of a Homecoming parade of girls trailing from behind the door it is a family of 4.
I think after all this was said, and done and we see it every now again around town making the prom pick up’s. I would rather own sheep. So what is the lesson learned? Be careful what you pray for😂! It is funny, yet depressing my kids do not tell this story. I almost deleted the picture, but where would the fun be in that!!