As the deer panteth, so my soul

My feet were so feeble, tired and calloused from years of running. I was always on the run. Just could not imagine if I were to feel. It was no longer a balancing act, I couldn’t even manage that

I had buried all my secrets in my skin. Love was just a camouflage for what was rage seeping through every word. I was as red, as red as red could be. Spewing venom, green

I became introverted with selfish lust for what was a bottle. One of broken promises, it was my only friend. It told me what I wanted to hear. Whispered lies into my ear, I knew my end was near

There was a small light I could see at the bottom of the hole I had buried myself in. I was so thirst-y for something pure. I wanted life. Death had become me. Zombie breath, and broken hearts all of my making. Blood stained hands, and no regret. Yet I knew there was something better. The tiniest glimmer

I swore I didn’t care, and as long as I couldn’t feel. Ill I intended to stay. Then that day the light spoke through the dark. I could feel a reach for my corpse. A lifeline so divine

I was thirst-y for a new way of life. Becoming tired of my own face. I wanted my broken smile to rise above me. Flee from the puddle of tears I lied in. Rid the locusts eating my flesh

I was thirst-y for the living water that was being spoon fed to me, by my Lord’s hands. My hearts compass was trashed, but God gifted me a new plan for my weary bones. No longer alcohol could it hold

I thirst for what was fresh, no more wretched breath. I wanted eyes that could see, hands that could feel. A body not so brittle. I was thirsty for what was pure, and holy.

In this time God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. I no longer drool for that tonic, and long gone are the days my feet are on the run. I wake with great clarity, and another day I thirst for the gift of life in the precious blood Jesus gifted to me upon Calvary. I humbly start each day on bended knee. Never forgetting that cavern I was buried alive in. New life in Him

As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. Psalm 42:21


9 thoughts on “As the deer panteth, so my soul

    1. Thank you I just share the matters of my heart. I have lived a long 47 years here on earth. One that has quite a tale. One I feel needs to be shared. From childhood until now, all the countless times God was there for me when I myself didn’t even realize it. For a believer who turned her back on God in comfort in the bottle, I learned a lot in that breaking process. My heart will forever be changed from the ashes my life once was.
      Thank you for reading, and as well taking time to comment. Have a great day 😀☺️

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re a strong and courageous woman, Lisa. You’re right your story does need to be told. It will help a lot more ladies grow to stand proud as you do now. Well done.

        Liked by 1 person

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