It’s been awhile, and Breast Cancer sucks. Yet I will always praise God!

So I figured it was time to share my heart. I haven’t had anything to write for quite sometime now. I had my 4th Breast Cancer Surgery 6 weeks ago. I didn’t even feel like sharing this with all of you. This was 4 very big surgeries in a year and half. I am tired, yet grateful. I am empty, yet full. I am just focusing on getting through the days, and trying hard to keep it simple.

I imagine I don’t really make sense. I have been posting photography so my blog does not become stagnant. I will be turning 48 in 2 months, and my body is having such a hard time bouncing back after this last surgery. I am not depressed, I am just tired. I am so grateful I did not have to have Chemotherapy, or Radiation. A double mastectomy was enough to mess with my already complex brain. Acceptance with my new body parts took me a year and a half. It was after this last surgery I finally found acceptance. I know without a doubt as much as I did not want to endure another surgery it was God’s will for this to happen. I am finally at peace with looking in the mirror, where I was horrified to look at myself before this last surgery. The mystery of God’s will never ceases to amaze me.

He knew what I needed, and what it would take for acceptance. I was in prayer, and literally on my knees begging God for this for so long. I wasn’t sure if it would come. I trusted He had a plan, and patience was crucial to my survival. As well working my recovery daily, because half measures I know avail me nothing. So I have stayed very vigilant in prayer, and my daily conscious contact with my very loving God.

So here I am tired, and not a single desire to write. I just figured I would share (it was about time). I always know God has his best no matter what. I had a flat tire, and He fixed it. Praise God! My life with my husband is feeling more like “us”, and I am feeling more like “Lisa”. All glory to God. Hopefully I will write again sooner than later. Blessings WP friends, God is so faithful this I know!

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Waking with 8 years of “one day at a time” sobriety all by the grace of God

“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has throughly followed our path” ~Bill W. & Dr. Bob

I wake this morning with 8 years of sobriety all by the grace of God. I get to live, love, and laugh in the solution today. Alcohol was but a symptom. I was so spiritually sick, and today I begin with thy will not mine be done. One day at a time. I am not exempt from picking up that bottle, it is solely contingent on my spiritual house. This morning my heart is right before God. So with much gratitude I will celebrate this day of 8 years, giving God all the glory for my story.

I was a bottom feeder. I was at my lowest. Bruised, battered, and stained. I had danced with the devil day in, and day out. Enough to cause insanity to anyone. Today when I dance I am a princess, and I choose to dance with my King. Far from perfect I am, but today I have the tools to recognize my character defects. I am aware when I need to stop, drop, and pray. On any given day God’s address is NOW. I have a daily reprieve, and I hang with the winners. I came in willing to do whatever was asked of me with the desperation of a dying woman.

8 years later I get to share my experience, strength, and hope with others. I get the gift of working with other women. I get the gift of serving in my home group. I say get, because one sip of booze and all bets are off.

I daily wake powerless over alcohol. I daily turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understand Him. I daily have God step in, and do for me what I can’t even often see what He is doing for me in the moment. He does for me what I can’t do for myself, and I have willingness to see what He is teaching me in those moments.

8 years of peace, and serenity. I used to thrive off of chaos, and calamity. I don’t do well there today. Thank God for the gifts of this simple program, and being open minded as well willing for 8 years of “one day at a time”.

Sobriety is a journey not a destination, and a beautiful one at that.

Thank you to all my husband, children, family, and all friends of Bill W. and Dr. Bob. My hearts biggest thank you is to God who saved a wretch like me. Ashes to beauty. From wretch to princess.

You can find me today in a room listening to others stories. As well sharing my experience, strength, and hope. Praying that my hope might whisper into just one ear from someone else who sits in their chair for the first time like I did 8 years ago lost wanting to find the solution.

Here is to never forgetting where I came from, every tear shed. From the darkest caverns, to the highest mountain peaks I pray my life shouts JOY, PEACE, and HOPE!

God could, and would if He were sought!

Sought!

My soulmate

1 Year WP Anniversary, and blessed!

I feel so blessed being apart of this blogging community. I honestly was just wondering the other day when my first blog was.

1 year ago, and what a wonderful experience it has been. I have a new love for photography since being back in play. I love all the photo challenges that Cee makes readily available for all of us daily. I as well love the word of the day challenge when my brain is on to something I feel worth writing about.

I love being able to express myself in this platform. Thank you to all who stop, read, look, and even comment. I appreciate you all. I as well love seeing all the different ways people express themselves in their blogs. It is a beautiful unique world of words, and pictures in here. Happy Blogging!

Again blessed with the best! Thank you all, Lisa

What it feels like, I knew this photo would come in handy 😀

A sincere thank you…

Followers

I want to thank all who have taken time to glance, stop, read, and even comment on my blog. WordPress is a delight in my life. This is where I find I am able to express myself in my truest form. I have taken my blog in a new direction this time around with adding photography which I have found so much joy in. I love seeing all of you express yourself in your beautifully penned words, and in photography too. Thank you again, Lisa M. Boyd(overjoyed)

It was as if no time had passed, I longed for my Brie…finally here in the flesh. I passed the test of time..

I longed, and prayed for the day to see you again. Many years had passed, it was finally coming to an end. I would soon see you again

I longed, and prayed for the day to feel you in my arms so tight. It had to be just right

I longed for healing for both you, and I. For the past to be put to rest. God I knew knows best

I longed to know what your favorite color was. Music too. All the things that you were now into

I longed for the day I would see you again. Something promised to me if I just kept going. My skin with goosebumps, as the plans were be made. Hanging up the phone singing praise in Jesus’s name

I longed for the day a mother, and daughter would be reunited. Laughter, and overwhelming joy would be the way. No tears they had already rotted away your youth. Truth

The time came, and it was miraculous. All the promises that God had said were kept, and seeds of healing spread

The time came, we laughed. We sat side by side. It felt there had never been a lapse in time. Oh the selfies, the great faces too. I made sure after all of our time playing catch up, you knew you always had a family here. You could call on us day or night. No drunken stupor that would avoid the ring. We were here, and would be through it all. Just call

I longed for the time I could share this heart felt story. I waited patiently almost 7 years to see my beautiful first born Brie Faith. At times it killed me inside, but God always spoke through. “Keep going Lisa, this time too shall pass”. “You will see her again

This is a testament of a lady, this lady being me. I was once so spiritually sick. Lost in a bottle, I thought it was my fix. Just get licked. With that intoxication came a coma induced state, and years were up for the take. Then the time came where I had done so much damage, her heart could not bare to talk to me. She went from a teenager to a brilliant beautiful young woman. Me just patiently waiting, waiting, and waiting

This is testament of healing, and growth. That God does indeed give back the years I allowed the locusts to eat away. All because I rose above the bottle, full throttle. Worked on my daily reprieve on bended knee, keeping that bottle at bay. Working, and living in the solution of a new way of life. Without all chaos, and strife

This is a testament that with God all things are possible. I had to realize I powerless, and my life was so unmanageable. Alcohol was not my friend. Turn my will over to Him, and know that if not it would be my end. God has helped me see with so much clarity. This solution offers me serenity. As well the story of relationships renewed. Experience, strength, and hope! My life is so worth every moment spent living in the now. I longed to see her, and see her I did. Promised by God, I saw my kid

Mom & daughter selfie be still oh my heart 24 now 17 was last time I had seen her ❤️

My family was one for a few days, and she finally met her step-dad. Love at first sight. Only God could do such a beautiful thing such as this. 3 generations together again. God is indeed good!

There were tears, but not of pain. Tears of joy and reconciliation. Healing!

Brand new to him, and him to her! All this in 5 days! God gets all the praise

And now we make plans for the next time, and it couldn’t be soon enough. Man Brie you’re so tough, courageous, and absolutely radiant inside and out. Perseverance as my friend I got through this until what was the end, and finally saw you again. Amen

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten– the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm — my great army that I sent among you. ~Joel 2:25

400 awesome followers, and I am more than grateful

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton

With the utmost sincerity I thank all of my followers today. 400, and going. I have found a true form of self expression inside WP. I have much respect for so many of the people I follow, and their creative attributes either in writing or photography. I as well have gained some genuine friendships.

With all that said I am grateful I have a safe platform to be me. For this I say THANK YOU! God bless you all…

Sincerely, Lisa Marie Boyd ✌️☺️

He said it best, there I shall find rest

I cling to this today, in a world of uncertainty I find myself in prayer. I shall not live in fear, letting go of all at the cross on Calvary.

I find solace in the throne room right at my Father’s feet. I know without a doubt I can trust my unknown future to a very known God. The world may seem crazed, I just have to keep my focus on praising Him in His name! Father “thy will be done”.

This new world order is what must be for you to fulfill things I can not see. I am on bended knee, with faith over fear. You always have our best at heart, you have it down to an art. Even though we can not see the whole picture, you are holding the finished masterpiece in the palm of your hand! On this your truth I stand!

I promise at home in my house my lipgloss is pretty

Lots of new colors of lipgloss, but my lips are covered by these masks. Gasping for air every where we go with the mask in tow.

Lots of new clothes for Christmas this year, but there is no where to go. No one to care.

Lots of restrictions then phases, and then changes in phases along with restrictions again and again. Back to phase 1 same song, new dance. Just want get these masks off our faces. Open back up all of our favorite places.

I want see people smile, play dress up, and eat in fancy restaurants. So many places are closing their doors. Changing the map of the what once was our cities. What a pity.

Lots of new colors of lipgloss, but my lips are covered by these masks. Gasping for air everywhere we go with the mask in tow.

Lots of new clothes for Christmas this year, but there is no where to go. No one to care.

Back to phase one, no one can hug. Elbow bumps are lame. Same old game, just another dance. What are the chances we will ever get to take off these masks. I promise at home in my house my lipgloss is pretty.

This is the nitty gritty of our new norm. We have to weather this storm. I know people are losing their minds. These are the signs of the times…

The lipgloss will be expired, and not a match for my skin by the time it might be seen. Just as maddening the next store is having to hang their closed sign in shut of its doors. Years of service to the city. What a pity.

I want to hug people, the elbow bump seems so impressionable. My eyes don’t light up enough for anyone to see I am smiling (I promise I am). This world all looks as if it is lying, even dying.

I promise at home in my house my lipgloss is pretty. Not a first world problem, but still what a pity. This is the end of my sharing my thoughts I have a runway show to put on with all my new swag. Back to phase 1 it makes me so sad. No one will see the frown I wear under my Keen mask. Corona is having a blast.

I promise at home in my house my lipgloss is pretty, what a pity.

These are signs of the times, now you all know what is on my mind. Hey I will be here all weekend. 😂🤣😂 cuz we back to phase 1. Son of a gun…The government has us under their thumb.

Another one bites the dust

My 7th Sober New Year

Happy New Year to all on WP! Another bites the dust! So much to be grateful for in 2020! I am breast cancer free, and soon enough will be looking at this whole journey in the rear view mirror. God is so gracious!

Blessings All, Lisa

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:13

I will deny my faith to no man

“Just a couple Jesus Freaks”

“But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 10:33

DC talk said it best, “What will people think when they hear that I’m a Jesus freak? (It’s the…)
What will people do (…freakshow) when they find that it’s true”?
Ho ho
Ho ho ho-o
Ho ho

This morning I am readying myself to see my surgeon, and yes I am very emotionally/physically drained. I cried upon waking which is not my norm. I was quickly reminded of the gift of the breath of life I have. I was reminded how much worse it could be. I was reminded how His mercies are new EVERY morning. I was reminded that “this too shall pass”. I may have to do this often throughout my day, recognize how great a God I serve. I may be on repeat of hoe He is holding the pen, if I allow Him. How He is in charge, and when I try to take over things just go awry. My heart has the desire for His compass. I know His compass always has my best at heart! It’s art really! Beautiful majestic art! Letting go, and letting Jesus my author my savior hold the pen!

The end!!

I will proclaim victory in Jesus’ name!

Update on my health…

For this I thank you ALL!

Last night I was advised to go the Emergency room after talking to the on call surgeon. I am one week post swapping out my tissue expanders for implants. The last surgery in my breast cancer journey. Yesterday was the worst I felt the whole time since my surgery.

I was in tears when I was told my husband could not be with me at all. They were doing a work up for sepsis. I had tears streaming my face as my phone would not even connect to make a call out.

Thankfully after a long day with a fever, and feeling very nauseous my blood work came back all clear. My blood pressure was high when I got there. I refused all medication while there, because of all my allergies. I was the only person who could advocate for my own health. They were going to give something on my list of allergies.

So at the end of it all the conclusion is I have a pretty good sized Seroma. I will be seeing my surgeon tomorrow to see how we are going to address this. I am in a lot of pain. I am so swollen, but thank God I am home. Thank God it was not sepsis. Makes you realize how precious life is, and how fast things can change.

I was so weak, and sleepy. The Seroma was just making me feel crappier than I even knew. I have had many of you responding with prayers, and kind words. I just wanted to update you all on what is happening as of now.

So I am resting, and my husband was given 2 more days off of work to be with me. I so appreciate all of your prayers! Lord willing I will stop draining soon. I just keep holding on to “this too shall pass”.

God bless you all, may God be with you all as we approach the coming New Year!

I thank God for this man whom has been by my side this whole time. He is my best friend! My love, my husband, my heart! We both cried last night when separated!

It is 12:36 p.m., and it feels like midnight. I am beyond exhausted. Home from my surgery…

So yesterday I had my final breast cancer surgery. My husband, and I were overwhelmed by the prayer response we got. I woke to texts, FB private messages all saying we are praying. As well they reassured us how much God had me. Which there was no doubt how very present he was.

I have such a very complicated health background. So when my double mastectomy went off without a hitch I was ecstatic to say the least. I was writing home to mama even though really she lives here, and I am able to call her on the phone. It just sounded sounded better to say that lol (more dramatic). Writing home to mama…😄

We knew the risks, complications, and just about all that goes into breast implants after a double mastectomy. Trust me we double, triple, and quadruple checked our information as well statistics. I am allergic to so many medications, and foods. This is decision was not taken lightly, or without fervent prayer.

My surgeon in all honesty after reading my prior health history told me his anxiety went up even thinking about the double mastectomy let alone putting implants of a foreign nature in my body. He in the end with us, after weighing heavily all options gave his approval. I went all summer with just above my average size breasts before my masectomy for the tissue expanders, which are what stretches my skin for the implants that are now my breasts.

So as I sit here everything at this moment looking back in retrospect everything went better than expected, and God answers prayers! Prayer is so powerful! I did have to have drain tubes that are producing very little blood. They will be taken out the morning of Christmas Eve if they keep producing less than 15 milliliters. Which I am pretty certain they will be.

So far what I see in the mirror I am excited about, I could have never have gone without breasts. The lack of sensation in my breast tissue has been quite enough for me to accept alone.

So now our prayer is for no post surgery infection, and number one on my list is SLEEP. I have the opposite reaction to anesthesia. Which is more common than realized. I have slept 2 1/2 hours since being home at 4 p.m. yesterday. I suffer from insomnia for about the first 3 days the anesthesia messes with my internal sleep clock. Which I am trying to keep my attitude in check since my “hot” wonderful husband was by the grace of God able to take a week off of work in care of me. So I smile when he walks by even though all I wish to do is scream “I need sleep”! I won’t do that though. I am going to try for small catnaps today. Which hasn’t happened yet.

I know the size of my breasts are to me perfect because it is the same cup size I was before they removed them. They are just more full as I am almost 47, and have had two children 24, and 22 years ago. So they just look happier. They may not be super natural, but I have breasts. I am free of breast cancer! I rode my mountain bike all summer with as much ease as you can with expanders that are the same as the implants I have now, but felt like a vice contraption. These implants are so much more natural feeling. The stretching of my skin that is so thin from the removal of my breasts, was very painful. It has all been worth it. This is not the route for every woman as each case is so individual to the woman. It is such a personal, and intimate path. So soon with God on our side this journey will all be in the rear view mirror. God has so done miracles in this body of mine. The surgeon said to my husband “if all my patients had as healthy of tissue as your wife it sure would make my job easier”.

All God none of me, I think not drinking has played a huge roll in that. Sobriety has served so many positive roles in my life. As well All God not me. I am just a willing participant in this journey of my life. Praise God for that. I show up for my life today!

We have meals for over a week, from a meal train my mom started. How very blessed we feel. The hardest part about this is not being able to hug our closet. When my mom came over the night before my surgery, with her soon to be fiancé to bring food. Saying goodbye without a hug was the hardest part. I teared up, and my heart felt sad. It has been too long of this social distancing from those who hold the closest places in our hearts!

So as I am finishing up this post, I am a very sleep deprived, extremely blessed woman. Who knows my creator God was present through this whole journey from diagnosis to now. If there are errors or anything confusing in this post please excuse me, as it is time to try one of those catnaps I am in desperate need of. As well my husband has not once left my side (he is a God send). He too is very emotionally drained. He is already snoring away next to me, hopefully that will be me soon enough. Except I don’t snore. Blessings All. Sorry for the long post..lots in my heart ❤️

Miss this the most!

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father…that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being. (Ephesians 3:14,16)