Tag: daily reprieve

Goofy is as goofy does, intention-ally me

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ Leave a comment

Extrovert by nature, I don’t need the bottle to articulate. I am just a happy go lucky person, and the grass is greener where I now reside. No need to hide 

Was scared to be sober. Felt booze was always in order. Needed it so I thought, I actually am better without a drop. Goofy I am, and even goofier as sober I stay

I am outgoing, and bubbly it just secretes from within naturally. God has rescued, and revived me in the clarity I have daily. I am a better person dry

I am not in need of that toxic waste, it fooled me into thinking I was better off with its vibrance seeping from within. No need to wet my soul with the bottle of old

For today is yet another day goofy, and authenticity reigns. I do not have to fake it to barely make it. I am alive, and free without that dreaded bottle to cling

Extreme has always been my person, for I am an alcoholic. We thrive off of drama, and chaotic ruins we wade in. The differance is with my Lord and Saviour, I don’t have to dwelve there 

Held captive no more, goofy is as goofy does. Laughter is my new step. I lept into the arms of my gracious Father. For there I find sobriety, one day at a time. Sober fun is easy, less dramatized too. I long since changed my shoes, and was made brand new

Bid the bottle adieu, and dry I will stay yet another day. Less complicated is this barren land. Free of muddy tear stained puddles, made by me. Thank you Jesus for setting me free!!

Free to commuicate without sloppy, slurring words. Absurdity no more. Goofy I adore! Sober is me! Intention-ally me!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/11/intentional/

Traffic update

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 5 Comments

There are those days the traffic in my head is noisy, and disrupts my peace

Bustling aggravation the hustle, and bustle of the trains whistle. It seems so long. Does it even have a caboose. It does if I choose

On these very trying days are the days I must pray, and pray starting out my day is a must. That way the traffic comes to a halt. It just stops

No more horns, trains, sirens, and such. Just the hush of the quiet still moment God instantly provides. Peace is granted. I am to be still, and know that He is God

That traffic is of my own doing. So when things get to noisy, or busy up in my head, I must lay it to rest! I have the tools today to not over think it, or analyze it. A daily reprieve, and it starts first thing. Before the crowd, and rush of the day

Hushing myself, and being still knowing He is God. The roads are cleared, and my thoughts silenced. The Holy Spirit guides, and rises above the noise. No need for the traffic to even begin

Traffic update, all roads are closed. Streets are clear, keep moving on God will make the way for all systems go. Peace is the next sign I will see, my day is His! It is that simple, on bended knee. A daily reprieve

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2021/05/03/traffic/

Abstinence is a must for me

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 15 Comments

I was the alcoholic who tried to so call “stop drinking” all too many times to no avail. I switched from Whiskey to Wine, I tried drinking only on the weekends. I tried weaning myself off of what I knew was surely killing me, as well making me insane. Although I could never not have it in my house, that was not an option for this drunk. How would I live without it! I couldn’t imagine.

I didn’t know how to stop drinking. I drank to live, and lived to drink. My eyes were blind, and heart was calloused. My blood had run cold, and my life was getting old. I was getting sick, and tired of being sick and tired. It was so progressive for me. I get why they say it is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Each drink made me more deaf, blind, and dumb than the drink before. Yet still I poured.

This alcoholic poison came before my God, my husband, kids, job, it literally became my all. Nothing else mattered except chasing the booze. So than I could snooze into my numb state. I always thought what if it wore off enough that I felt. Kneeling, groveling for more. I willed myself through that tonic not to feel ever.

The only answer I could find was in the room of Alcoholic’s Anonymous. It was the solution, it offered me a new way of life. When I entered through the doors I had the desperation of a dying woman willing to do whatever it took to become sober, and live this new way of life. Experience, strength, and hope of the others carried me to see this too could be me.

For me to drink is to die, this disease is progressive. If I get to August it will be 8 years sober for me. Yet this disease is still doing push ups. It wants to kill me. It wants me to give up. Give in yet again, and drink it into my skin.

I daily have to be willing to turn my life over to the care of God as I understand Him. Let Him run the show. Give Him ALL of me. It is a gift today! It is a must.

I have to be ABSTEMIOUS, better yet I have to be completely abstinent from alcohol. One drink is too many a thousand not enough”. This is 100 percent the kind of drinker I am, I am an alcoholic. I am powerless over alcohol, and my life had become unmanageable in every way.

I can’t ever forget where I come from, and what got me into the rooms. I earned that chair, and I go with great eagerness today. Meetings are by choice. I don’t want to lose what has been gifted to me in these last few years. Sober truly is a beautiful life. It’s not always easy, but it isn’t as complicated as my life when I was a drunk. I am not stuck.

All by the grace of God I chose to live in the solution, and remain abstinent from alcohol. That bottle for me, will take me to my grave. I will be the lady on the side of street flagging people for money. It’s so not funny, there goes I.

Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes to the prize that sits in the Book with the steps, and principles to live by. Meetings will always be a part of my life, and I have to remember to not become complacent. Ego will kill me, and resentments will to.

So I will continue to surrender myself to that chair, and say “hi my name is Lisa, and I am an alcoholic”.

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2021/04/27/abstemious/

Don’t give up before the Miracle happens

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 16 Comments

As I write this my beautiful daughter Brie Faith is on a plane bound from Orlando Florida to Spokane Washington. I haven’t seen my almost 25 year old daughter in 6 1/2 years. Yet here we are in just about 10 hours she will be at my doorstep.

These are the promises I get “one day at time” by working the solution of recovery into my life. My loving God meets me in a daily reprieve, usually multiple times over throughout my day. It is “thy will not my will be done”.

There is a saying I have heard often in the rooms. It is referring to the promises, “fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly”. I kept coming back just to hear the stories of restoration of the “family afterward”. I then entrusted this to God’s timing. Even if it meant I might never see my daughter again. I trusted God knew what was best for me. He always has my best at heart, even when I can’t always see it.

I caused a lot of heartache, and damage to my children’s hearts. Some might think how outre for her to even get to be in their lives today. God is so much bigger than all of that, and me. So with a lot of patience which is a virtue I learned in the rooms of A.A. the day has arrived.

She is in route to Spokane International Airport as I write this. That is why I can never forget where I come from, and must maintain a very clean spiritual house. It is progress rather perfection, thank God. I am so far from perfect. I do know that for me to drink is to die, and lose all these amazing gifts that have been gifted to me ten-fold working the steps as well principles in my life to the very best of my ability. This is all by the grace of God, I am just a willing participant in this journey of recovery. I am amazed at the miracles that have surfaced in my life since trading the bottle for the solution.

So this mom is one happy mom, and that is why my tag line on my blog is entitled “don’t give up before the miracle happens”. 6 1/2 years since I have not hugged, seen, felt, and been in the same room with my beautiful first born baby girl. So to say God doesn’t do for us what we can’t do for ourselves, well here’s the proof! My God has prepped us both for what will be in just hours. We serve such a mighty gracious God!

I will see again! This is not where it ends. I will carry you with me! My Brie Faith

1 Peter 5:10
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2021/03/02/outre/

Adrift no more, anchored at the cross she gets life abundant

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 6 Comments

Adrift she is not, for He touched that one very sweet spot. She grabbed for it as it was her last life. Sweet as a honey bee, and its nectar

He gave her a hand up from under the cloud covered all consuming of “I”. “Woe is me”, no more

Down the river she will never float again in fear of pulsating rapid’s, she does not live like she is immortal. Reckless abandon no more

She is anchored in the cross for there her sobriety wins, “one day at a time” a daily reprieve it must be

Adrift no more He took her very broken wings, and allowed them to soar singing with release fly

She is no longer choking upon her breath, He breathed a new life of breath in her. Death only at His hour, all power to Him

She is no longer in wander with lack of directional purpose, she is in the pursuit of God’s compass 

She has hope for her youth has been restored when He scooped her up from her own drown in her own self pity

Iniquity is not swallowed away with a gulp. An angry middle finger does not exist in protest. In his His throne room she lingers, she sits with hope. At His right hand there she can be found safe and of sound mind, sanity reigns. Insanity tossed at the foot of the cross

Adrift that is no longer a part of her life unless it is for recreational sport, for God took a spear in pierce of her heart

Adrift no more, He has wiped her slate clean of her fixaction. Tied down, anchored, clinging …”Stable” now that is not a word she thought would again be in her vocabulary

For God is her lifeline divine, and stability she found, adrift what is that? …she has been found! Abject to her own misery no more

2 Corinthians 5:17

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/11/18/abject

“Yes Lord I am here” underneath all this earth

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 4 Comments

Reaching from under the rubble, my own stinch making me sick

Glazed over eyes, grasping at straws. Dark no light Clausterphopia setting in

Life so raw, I just wanted to be buried in my sleep. Fast asleep in the deep beneathe the earth

Should I have been surprised when He whispered my name echoing through the broken dirt

Dust breaths, “yes Lord I hear you”

His voice so distant, but yes he was there hollow his voice bouncing from the ground that encased my body

My rescuer has sought me, to take my hand to free me from the rubble, alcohol no longer my idol. A faitour it was, but the good Lord has won. Imposter slithered away

The breath I breathe today is clean, crisp, and not lacking any oxygen

In my enibraition He gave me a taste of what it was like to breathe a new breath of life, my taste buds were on fire with desire of Him

He was no longer far, he was right there at my aide. I could see again, I could taste again. It was more than good!! It was His saving grace, His face

Psalm 34:8
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/13/11/faitour

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Nov. 7/2020-please God let my bed, and pillow just be a sojourn for me…

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 3 Comments

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “jour.” Find a word containing “jour” or use it as is. Bonus points if you start or end your post with that word. Enjoy!

I am desperately lacking sleep with my new breast disposition. Last night there was just no way to find comfort in my pain. I tried to reposition my body in hopes of comfort. I am now hoping my bed is just a sojourn for me.

I read up a lot about dislodged breast tissue expanders. I am being told that my whole expander rotated, and I most likely tore muscle. As well the stitches that I popped are my pectoral muscle stitches. Just when I thought I could say I had a surgery with no complications.

I created this, but not by being reckless. I didn’t do anything that at 7 months post double mastectomy I am not allowed to do. I guess I should have listened to the push back my body was giving me.

When a woman gets into a new home she wants to make up her new home. There would not have been a lot to stop me other than what is now. I was on a real roll, the day this happened I took 10 large boxes to the recycle, and 2 bags full of packing paper. My house is close, but no cigar. So now my husband says I can point at objects, and tell him where they need to go (so blessed) but in all honesty that just seems to defeat all I have done. I create when I put my home together. This whole rotated expander just bites, and now surgery is just around the corner.

This breast cancer journey has been a long one indeed. I am so grateful to be breast cancer free. I just believe I might be a little sleep deprived, and agitated that my body is so stuck right now. I always participate if I can in this SoCS prompt.

I think it best for me to rejourn once I have found a little sleep. I like to be peppy, and positive. Right now I just need to step away for a bit. Get back to the heart of the matter being, take some quiet time with God. Sleep must be found, and I also must be ground in Jesus!

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

https://lindaghill.com/2020/11/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-7-2020/

My clock was a little broken, and I sat unspoken. Silent and still

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ Leave a comment

Looking back many years now passed. Thank God no crypt was waiting, I refused to go back under ground, or drown in that bottle

My clock had been off, my feet missing the beat. The second hand fell off beneathe the glass. I could not tell the hour. The power of my will, Lord please let it die. I cried out

Walking a little out of sync, trying to find the rhythm to my rhyme

Integrating God as the cornerstone of this odd passage in my life. If I only had a dime for every time God’s will was so very different than mine

Jesus take the wheel, I don’t wish to take a spill. My life was spinning round, that clock was enough to drive me mad. That stupid second hand

I sit here in awe at the Mystery of God’s will. I was tested, proven sober. More alcohol placed in front of my face then water. The devil tried to toy with me, and he did not succeed

An alcoholics worst night mare, my sobriety was put on the line. Beer stein shoved in my face. God poured out His grace. I walked away every time without a sip

Nipping it in the bud, back to AA and surrounding myself with good. I got a little lost. My heart took quite a push

When push came to shove Jesus as always just drenched me in His uncondtional love. No more unhealthy people, just the church and its steeple

Time I got that second hand fixed, and synchronize my life with His. It is such a cool watch, one I wished to wear. The second hand fixed, so I never miss a beat. Nor fall from my feet, seek Jesus at the cross where none gets lost or overlooked 

Sober I stand after tested relentlessly, my mind almost went mad. The struggles of an alcoholic, thank God I did not touch that poisoness tonic

Thank you Jesus for watching over me, and nudging hard my heart. For that part in my heart broken yet again. No more tail spin. With you please until the end. For this life is temporary, I don’t want to miss a single beat. For only you let me seek 

My clock was a little broken, and I have sat unspoken. Silent and still. Satan wanted His kill to no prevail

Jesus won! Check one for my savior who brought me out of danger, did a little open heart sugery. Purging anything not of him. He wins, and I have life. I love going under the knife after hard life’s strife. Synchronized!

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/10/27/crypt