Waking with 8 years of “one day at a time” sobriety all by the grace of God

“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has throughly followed our path” ~Bill W. & Dr. Bob

I wake this morning with 8 years of sobriety all by the grace of God. I get to live, love, and laugh in the solution today. Alcohol was but a symptom. I was so spiritually sick, and today I begin with thy will not mine be done. One day at a time. I am not exempt from picking up that bottle, it is solely contingent on my spiritual house. This morning my heart is right before God. So with much gratitude I will celebrate this day of 8 years, giving God all the glory for my story.

I was a bottom feeder. I was at my lowest. Bruised, battered, and stained. I had danced with the devil day in, and day out. Enough to cause insanity to anyone. Today when I dance I am a princess, and I choose to dance with my King. Far from perfect I am, but today I have the tools to recognize my character defects. I am aware when I need to stop, drop, and pray. On any given day God’s address is NOW. I have a daily reprieve, and I hang with the winners. I came in willing to do whatever was asked of me with the desperation of a dying woman.

8 years later I get to share my experience, strength, and hope with others. I get the gift of working with other women. I get the gift of serving in my home group. I say get, because one sip of booze and all bets are off.

I daily wake powerless over alcohol. I daily turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understand Him. I daily have God step in, and do for me what I can’t even often see what He is doing for me in the moment. He does for me what I can’t do for myself, and I have willingness to see what He is teaching me in those moments.

8 years of peace, and serenity. I used to thrive off of chaos, and calamity. I don’t do well there today. Thank God for the gifts of this simple program, and being open minded as well willing for 8 years of “one day at a time”.

Sobriety is a journey not a destination, and a beautiful one at that.

Thank you to all my husband, children, family, and all friends of Bill W. and Dr. Bob. My hearts biggest thank you is to God who saved a wretch like me. Ashes to beauty. From wretch to princess.

You can find me today in a room listening to others stories. As well sharing my experience, strength, and hope. Praying that my hope might whisper into just one ear from someone else who sits in their chair for the first time like I did 8 years ago lost wanting to find the solution.

Here is to never forgetting where I came from, every tear shed. From the darkest caverns, to the highest mountain peaks I pray my life shouts JOY, PEACE, and HOPE!

God could, and would if He were sought!

Sought!

My soulmate

God grant me the serenity was so in order, over and over again…

The phone rang, and I saw the number as it rang in my hand, okay here it is. “Can I speak with Lisa Boyd please”? I knew I had to be cordial, my character is consistent with that of grace. On this day I admittedly was battling the inward struggle of being poked, prodded, and stripped down to my bare body of awkwardness.

Swallowing back the nightmare of that cold sterile table, I knew all to well I would soon not by my choice be bottoms up. I barely managed a muffled “this is she”. All the nurse spoke on was all in one ear, and out the next. I had been here so many times I could not even count on both hands. I had the nurses script memorized by heart.

So…no deodorant, hairspray/gels, jewelry, makeup, anticoagulants, no shaving my armpits, yadda yadda…

I was just so exasperated by the three for one special I was getting. Three different spots of concern, and three totally specific yet distinct biopsies. Three all in one swell swoop, woo-hoo where does one sing up for these things (with much cynicism)? Good grief, none of this was working well with my heart. I could not play this off with as much mockery as I had wanted. It was eroding me from the inside out.

My attitude was quite disconcerting one of injustice all most. I had a how dare they think they can do this to me mentality. That was when God brought me to a place of not forgetting where I came from, how far He by His grace He had brought me. At this point in my 46 years here on earth I was given the gift of sobriety six and a half years before this new found for me inconvenience. This was a disturbance in every way to what was my life now, it was tragic. It was uncomfortable, and I had no peace. All I felt was a lack of serenity.

It was what is called “life on life’s terms”. I had the ability at this time to have a unified faith in God that He had every part of my story already written. He was the author, and as well the ultimate surgeon. I had the qualifications in this time to pray that God would reveal His very presence to my weary soul. I had an uncanny way of analyzing the tripe out of everything if I was not God conscious. I could not afford at this time to be there, I had to “keep it simple”. I had to have a United front with God, one that took away my instability. I knew the key to my tranquillity was willingness, and with that surrender would follow suit.

And there it was, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

The day of my appointment had arrived, and so we went. We were hand in hand tightly gripped my husband and I. Praying our way through the whole drive. We arrived at my biopsy appointment before the roosters crow. I undressed down to nothing. I laid down on the cold sterile table allowing the nurses to posture my body in all sorts of cumbersome ways. I didn’t like any of it, and I wished I did not have to be there with one breast hanging through a hole cut in the table. I wished I was not going to be poked, and prodded, and my breast was not going to be manipulated by hands that weren’t my own.

My three for one special that did have risk of infection, and hematoma’s had begun. I could feel the numbing needle, as well the dripping of my own blood as the vacuum was being placed for the first biopsy. I laid as still as one could lay, like a corpse. My heart though was beating to the beat of my makers, I was so alive with the spirit of my loving God. I was at peace.

Hours passed, I was washed, and bandaged up. I was given ice packs, and at home care instructions. I proceeded with a little help to dress. I was wobbly, and painfully walked to the waiting room, where I reached for my husbands hand. We walked out hand in hand tightly gripped. Linked to our God as we now had a grueling wait of the results. Our journey of surrender had only just begun. “One day at time”, we were drawn into God consolidated in our prayers. We were three, a triple braided cord bound by His grace.

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Written for: word-challenge-of-the-day-United

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/07/21/united/

We were one, yet three with our loving Father we chose to be. Our foundation built high up on the rock of his foundation. He was always faithful to place on dry land. We never had to fear drowning…we had the gift of new life in Him!