Fools Gold in that bottle I held…Personified allibies

Just a shell walking in a lifeless form, a mannequin with barely a beating heart. Flat line waiting for the paddles, nothing could rattle my covetness for my numbness slathered

Dormant my personality lied, the zeal suppressed with alcoholics hallucinate hands. Reside in my own cell, an alcoholic hell. Sit in my own sin, wallow in my trademark venom

Never could pass the test, and any zest I may have had was laid to rest. Idolized the moisture of my enbrieated state. Filled with hate 

Fools gold in that bottle I held, meld into my skin. Personfied allibi, fake beyond each disguise. Lost with each sip, lucid goes as I got hosed

Swam with the sharks. Ravenous, blood thirsty. Needed that alcohol to occupy my soul. No holes, just bury all my secrets in my skin. Soak it up, let it be my end

It was my first thought upon waking the craving pulsating, and trampling my brain. It was the last thought upon laying my drunk head into a blackout state, death hovered 

This was the alcolohic me, numb me. Take away the pain for just one more moment. I hurt so bad inside. No where for God to reside. Hibernated, and bathed myself with my poison. My soul took cover, and demons hovered. Lurking in the night, I became as dark the tonic I drank. Rank with stank

Crippled by my own hands, hardened heart. Selfish, drowning in my own spite

Feeding off the juicy lies that came as day turned into night, and night turned into day. Spiced it up, made stuff up, my life was but a lie. Hiding in my bottle, this was the alcolohic me

No more hiding, no more numbing, no more running. For Jesus salvaged the wreckage I made of my life. Gave me hope, and took away my craving. He took my heart, and transplanted it at the cross. Carved my name, where His body hang in death for me on Calvary 

Laid the bottle down, and now I am unmasked and even somewhat vulnerable. For the love, laughter, and life I have now I would never trade it for a day of desperation lost. For I was off the grid, but now am found. In Him I abound. My masks are no more, my smile is real. In Jesus was my appeal….pathos no more, joy so surreal. That character no longer resides, for I am alive and set free of the dark cage of lifeless air suffocating me

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-2

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/19/

I can’t even blame credulity, I know my hand. I know my part

I can’t remember a time when we were not about thrive, it was a pep talk into perseverance because our daily was one more bolt that was about to be stripped. We had a bag full of all the bolts we vanished its divets from. Repeatedly trying so hard to screw them back into place. A rivet away from homelessness

So co-dependant it would make ill sick, how we pushed for so long I still don’t know. We desperately clung to our 19 year old selves. We had faded away in youth, just as morning faded into night. Swindled by our on sight, it was time to grow up. Yet we didn’t

Pretending we became so very good at, a tea parties delight. Dressed to the kilt with all the latest of gadets. When the rent came do we scrambled to have it. Looks can be deceiving. Dress up a family of four for all to adore, and they will not see famished rising from within. Covered skin with name brands to no end

Even tried to abide as much as the crisp cool dark that we had encased ourselves in would allow. Upon these moments a fire fly here and there was all the light we could muster. Running with dark like a wolf, the angels always trying to get back hold of our then bones we were so scathed from false pretense 

I can’t remeber a time when we were not about thrive. It was who we were. How we would come upon the monies to pay the next bill in wait. Ever heard of this thing called a job?!? The bible quotes a man who does not work will lack bread for his table. This was no fable. Did you ever really get a look at our seating for four. What was missing, a feast yes that was one. If you looked further you could see our kids jeans hanging from wasted waitslines their weight melting away from lack of nourishment. There was no flourish, we had not much left of our remains. Dig the graves make them ready, for we are barely going to make it

I had already said my goodbyes to all that tried to make way for health. The wealth we wrapped ourselves in was a farse. We were a travesty. Take off your tapestry you will see we are empty

Empty your pockets of only lint. Even more vacant were our hearts. For we had long resided elsewhere. We had no longer a barring even Gorilla glue would not do. We were beyond the fix. We were beyond charities hand.  People had caught on, fraudulent demeanor. No pity, for we dug ourselves into a slimy pit of ruins. Living in ancients past, I feel sorry for our story is a really badly written county artist song. Not melodic in the sing along. In fact turn that crap off 

I can’t remember a time when we were not about thrive, did you honestly think we would survive living like that? We were just a moment away from the loss of it all. We had been laughed at, and seen as fools. All our schooling went on the wayside for we were always trying to thrive. We never were about DO!! You think the two don’t walk hand in hand? Fools

We did not survive we are now casaulietes of our own demise. I can’t remember a time we were not about thrive. Maybe if I was to blame credulity I could say, but I know it takes to two to make a mess of a life that was one. I see this today with much clearer vision. Not gullible to my part, and I guess we both should have seen there was nothing that could keep us from falling apart. Spiritually ill makes for clean kill.

Praise God for His forgiveness reigns down from above, at the cross I found myself weeping for forgiveness, and asking for His unconditional love for all of four of our loss. Regain our spirit, and renew of hearts soul. Lord God save us, make us fragrant with your shed blood for us. Allow us to see the dove take flight, and once again reside in your light. Years later I thank you for I believe you have worked circles in miracles of at least three of these lives. Prayer, and fervency of thy will not mine. For my Lord God His love is divine. He has restored the years I allowed the locusts to eat away. How great a God is He

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/15/

Pristine the puppeteers hands gleam

Written for the Word of the Day challenge: pristine

Porcelain doll, so dainty and fair. How long have you been sitting in there?

High upon the top shelf of the lit curio cabinet, I see you are scatched and dirty

You are definitely a sight Amoungst the reburished dolls, they are so pretty. Gleaning white. I bet you were just as them at one time, a doll makers delight

Your eye sits out of socket, you’re a little twisted in your posture. Not beyond repair, I see you sitting you are not beyond my stare

Porcelain doll, so dainty and fair. How long have you been in sitting there?

I imagine with all the dust fallen in your hair, it has been awhile. Your not groomed or styled like the rest

I bet you are one that holds much value, and history too. I can see my hands taking great pride in you. A new stiched outfit, your hair with a soft curl around your little face

I will buff you, and shine you back to your prime, and put you back in place. Antique, you are. Priceless, I as a doll collector I see your value. I look pass the grease smudges on your face. I see you white as snow in its place

When my hands are finished with the making of you new I will place you back upon the top shelf. You will no longer lean on the one sitting next to you. You will stand with elegance. Every eye transfixed to the top shelf, where you are no longer tarnished

Porcelain doll so dainty and fair, look at her skin glowing white, almost translucent. She is near perfect. Her cheeks soft pink with matching lips too. I wonder who takes claim, who’s hands does this doll belong too? Famous hands I trust with the look of that of a near perfect touch

Pristine his hands, and face gleam at the new work His eyes see

White as snow, white as snow, thought my sins were as scarlet,
Lord I know, Lord I know, that I’m clean and forgiven.
Through the power of Your blood, through the wonder of Your love,
through faith in you I know that I can be
white as snow.

~Maranotha Music

Phillipians 1:6

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion

Photo Credit me; I have always thought I looked like a doll in this picture. I am poised in a doll like fashion. My head tilted just right, and my face dolly like. My skin fair, and face with a hint of pink. Likened to a doll, how neat. I bask at the change in me from my makers hands. This is not what my portrait would have resembled a few years back. I neeeded reassmbled. For my maker to make me clean, and place in back in my rightful place. He did that indeed!!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/14/pristine/

Bridges of life…two prompts in one

I can’t be forgetful of where I came from, always mindful my will must be aligned with God’s in the bridges of this life. Bridges will always be part of life. It is my choice with which whom I walk them, and I choose to walk with God hand in hand

Two bridges in the same State Park. One is a man made structure with beams, and construction materials for support. The other is made from the land we hiked. With limbs from trees, and branches. Both unique in their beauty. Like that of the bridges of life. Some are made by others structurally sound for the crossing. Some are a walk of faith. Each step creeks with forward movement. Yet we need at times to cross them both. The beauty in that of the bridges of life. Never be to quick to burn a bridge, for the rebuilding may not come to pass. Hike the bridge, like you hike through life. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. In stride…maybe with a friend by your side. Mine is God He walks all the bridges of life with me, hand in hand

Photo Credit me; Riverside State Park. Spokane Wa. Hiking the massive terrain. One on a beautiful summer day when the trails are endless with hikers detours left and right. The other on a brisk winter day. The bridge of branches covered with frozen snow. Both beautiful in their own right. Both walked over, and we made it safe to the other side..

This is also part of of Cee’s https://ceenphotography.com/2022/04/12/cffc-wood/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/02/08/w-o-t-d-c-forgetful/?relatedposts_hit=1&relatedposts_origin=4856&relatedposts_position=0

Goofy is as goofy does, intention-ally me

Extrovert by nature, I don’t need the bottle to articulate. I am just a happy go lucky person, and the grass is greener where I now reside. No need to hide 

Was scared to be sober. Felt booze was always in order. Needed it so I thought, I actually am better without a drop. Goofy I am, and even goofier as sober I stay

I am outgoing, and bubbly it just secretes from within naturally. God has rescued, and revived me in the clarity I have daily. I am a better person dry

I am not in need of that toxic waste, it fooled me into thinking I was better off with its vibrance seeping from within. No need to wet my soul with the bottle of old

For today is yet another day goofy, and authenticity reigns. I do not have to fake it to barely make it. I am alive, and free without that dreaded bottle to cling

Extreme has always been my person, for I am an alcoholic. We thrive off of drama, and chaotic ruins we wade in. The differance is with my Lord and Saviour, I don’t have to dwelve there 

Held captive no more, goofy is as goofy does. Laughter is my new step. I lept into the arms of my gracious Father. For there I find sobriety, one day at a time. Sober fun is easy, less dramatized too. I long since changed my shoes, and was made brand new

Bid the bottle adieu, and dry I will stay yet another day. Less complicated is this barren land. Free of muddy tear stained puddles, made by me. Thank you Jesus for setting me free!!

Free to commuicate without sloppy, slurring words. Absurdity no more. Goofy I adore! Sober is me! Intention-ally me!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/11/intentional/

Heavy with makeshift flask in hand, finally I reached dry land

Free write using the https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/03/26/flask/

My hand used to be heavy with a makeshift flask, whatever I could do to get my hands on my poison to then drink it deep within my skin. Absorbed until it wore off. The first sense of any sensationalism I would repeat. Oh how neat my life seemed, inside screams of hallow cries for help then gulp. No more. I was fine again like a broken record I still played. So I drank as long as the needle still dropped, and I couldn’t hear the screech once I poured. Alcohol I adored

A tattered water bottle always in hand thinking I was fooling you, fooling me what was red and looked like Gatorade was really wine. Oh and I was fine, just fine

My hand was always heavy with a makeshift flask I drank so heavily I was deaf and driven by the rage I felt so deep, shaky hands and blood scorned breath

A broken bottle opened upon the sidewalk’s edge drinking the moisture from the bottle just enough to get my taste buds aroused, then I would drink it fast and hard. Enough to make me blind, deaf, and dumb~NUMB

Misery lurked inside that makeshift flask, but I just couldn’t feel enough your asks. I didn’t care to be your friend, nothing could compete with my plastic flask. I buried all my secrets with each sip, camouflage with what resembled rage

The air around me was a cage, I was shackled to my own incomprehensible demoralization. Lost in my blood stained sin, progressive it was always rage again. Crazy was the game, and I was always ready to play

Today I don’t carry that makeshift flask. I surrendered, and was set free. My Lord Jesus rescued me. The cage was opened, and out came the fragmented pages of me. I realized my powerless over that toxic drink. I couldn’t drink just one, and 100 was never enough. I couldn’t, He can, and I knew I needed to let Him. Jesus took me in, even though I spat all over Him. He is that gracious, and good

I surrender myself to this beautiful life of sobriety one day at a time. Knowing I have to do whatever is suggested of me. The air around me has changed, my five senses are clear set afire. I see the most beautiful things I used to take for granted. I see the most vibrant of colors, and smell. No more self made hell

There isn’t enough as of today to get me to wish to go back the other way. My life is beautiful, and I love being able to feel. I don’t have to hide my makeshift flask. Traded it for the hope I carry proudly for all to see. No more hiding for me. I am alive, and I am soaring high on eagles wings shackles fell beneath me long ago

God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. I will always share my experience, strength, and hope! My life is dope, and not the kind you shoot into you veins. It’s dope with the gift of sobriety, and the miracle of life that sits here writing this today! God reached in, and shook me to my core. Spiritually ill no more! I today am not that alcoholic horror

Free of my makeshift flask heavy in hand. My feet are on dry land, soil wet with seeds to be turned with the tools I need to keep me from having to pick up that next drink. All contingent on my spiritual house. God Has my will and life today, this disease is progressive so my prayer is for this I stay

But those who hope in the Lordwill renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~Isaiah 40:31

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/03/26/flask/

Welcome to Lisa’s world of words, and photography…ME!ABOUT MEAbout Lisa:I will begin with I am madly in love with my life today. This has not always been the case. I am 46 years old, and my journey to get me to madly in love has taken me down quite a broken ratty road. Yet this road of rubble was created by my own hands, as well the insanity of my heart. I was spiritually bankrupt. Almost 7 years ago I awoke from my slumber of finding solace in the bottom of a bottle of broken promises. I was filled with guilt, shame, self-pity, and so was the saying “woe is me”. I became a the poster child for “the world’s tiniest violin” always wanting someone to invest in my sorrow, and childish whims. I did not know how to adult, let alone how to live life without my numbing tonic daily. Well that is how it all started, alcoholism as I have learned is progressive. So daily turned to hourly, which turned to as soon as any sensationalism of my existence in this world seeped through my drunken stupor. I would then chug, gulp, and lick every ounce that bottle had to offer me in my awakened state of metal instability. I was spiritually ill! I was fooled into thinking I was trapped by a love affair I could not divorce myself from. My walls became higher, my veil darker, and my grave heavy with what was what I thought the last nail in the coffin. I was blind, deaf, and dumb. All my life was a fairytale of stories made up my own venomous ways, and my disguise of that darn bottle. I thought I had the whole world deceived into who was me, oh how sadly wrong I was. ‘Twas pride comes before the fall. I fell oh yes I did…HARD! Crushed every bone my body wore, all my blood was about to pour. Was I ready for what God had in store!Fast forward to now, my “one day at a time.” life. I am today free of my shackles, and I have the tools to know how to live my life on life’s terms without having to pick up. I am also aware this is contingent on my spiritual house, I have to be willing to turn my will over to God daily. I have to accept I am an alcoholic. “One drink is never enough, and a thousand is too many”. I have hope today, and I wake up grateful for another breath of life. I have been growing, and I am adulting to the best of my ability. I am living, and death is not at my door nor is it part of my daily schedule today.God gifted me life, He renewed my spirit within me. I am happily married to my soul mate. I have two beautiful young adult children, and 3 beautiful young adult step-children. I am goofy, and I love to laugh. I love having my hubby by my side in all of my life adventures. Mountain biking is my passion, and I love summer. Summer and I are like buddies, I can barely handle the goodbye until we meet again summer. Sign me up for anything outdoors, yes even winter sports. I live in Spokane Washington, the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I love to write, and have been here in WordPress before. I was a daily blogger, and frequented inside here for a couple years.I have been being molded, and shaped more as of recent by my potters hands. I took a little reprieve when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am now three months post mastectomy, and partial reconstruction. I have one more surgery to be done in the late fall. I am healing phenomenally, and feel so much gratitude for my life. I began anew in here because I did not want to be stuck in a niche of what I wrote about. I am just going to write from the heart, and I will use the word of the day challenge often. Hey maybe even a few surprises will flow from the keys, for we never know where the spirit of the heart might lead.You will find many ways I express myself in my writing. Writing styles you will find here are Non-fiction Empathetic, muic, Inspirational, and Chatty too. I am not a photographer by any means, but I do share the ones that are allusive with my writing. I hope you enjoy my blog. I am an author, and am multi-faceted in my articulations of self. None of what I express in here would be possible without my creators hands, and his presence in my life today. For I am Lisa, daughter of God. I reside in my Fathers house, this is where I was restored back to sanity. This is where I find my daily reprieve no matter what is going on with me, on bended knee. If there was anything I could say to anyone it would be “don’t give up before the miracle happens.”And so it begins…I hope you find something that touches your heart, makes you smile, and is welcoming enough to make you wish to stay awhile. God Bless you all.