The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 23, 2022-prayer and coffee

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “too/to/two.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Extra bonus points if you start your post with one. Enjoy!

Too many times my husband and I wake to quickly quiet ours minds with prayer. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

So my husband, and I sit together in coffee and prayer. This is a beautiful moment we have now had every morning no matter where we are for four plus years.

Just as quickly as the two of us wake to quickly go to God in release of all of all our matters we are changed. There are too many ways to count the miracles that begin our day. Amazing are God’s way. I promise you this if it is just me, I get the same result. There is just something very special in our marriage about having this intimate time with God together.

We are on in Him, Amen 🙏🏻

https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-23-2022/

Chin bandaids are too cool for school

As I ready myself for work I do have at the back of my head what if?

What if it my chin biopsy comes back skin cancer, and they have to dig into my chin? The Doctor advising me I could use my breast cancer surgeon to do the plastic surgery to make my chin look somewhat normal.

What if, what if what if, my brain was definitely squirrelly, and the what if was renting too much space in my head on Monday. I knew I needed an AA meeting. I knew what if needed to go

What if? I didn’t feel like drinking, I just know what to do when I don’t feel good. I have been gifted the tools today to say I need to get into the rooms to listen. To be open minded, willing, and honest

What if? I wasn’t myself. When the Doctor started talking plastic surgeon I checked out. I could see his mouth moving, but it was too much for my brain with all I have just come up, and out of in the last 2 years. Breast Cancer, and four surgeries later I envisioned myself telling the Doctor to go you know where. Of course I didn’t.

What if? What if? What if? Well I only have today. I live one day, and at times one moment at a time. So I now wait for 2 grueling weeks. I wait, and I see. I trust God, and pray a lot. I take that what if and shove it!

What if? Sure it remains at the back of my head with a bandaid on my chin as I grin. What if is not as overwhelming as it was Monday. That is all thanks to a program God gifted me in AA, and my spiritual house today being clean. I know God has me

What if? I don’t know all I know is I trust my unknown future to a very known God. All I have is right now. So with bandaid on my chin I will manage to grin, and make it through my work day! Happy, Joyous, and free me! What if all I have is today

Chin bandaids are too cool for school

As I ready myself for work I do have at the back of my head what if?

What if it my chin biopsy comes back skin cancer, and they have to dig into my chin? The Doctor advising me I could use my breast cancer surgeon to do the plastic surgery to make my chin look somewhat normal.

What if, what if what if, my brain was definitely squirrelly, and the what if was renting too much space in my head on Monday. I knew I needed an AA meeting. I knew what if needed to go

What if? I didn’t feel like drinking, I just know what to do when I don’t feel good. I have been gifted the tools today to say I need to get into the rooms to listen. To be open minded, willing, and honest

What if? I wasn’t myself. When the Doctor started talking plastic surgeon I checked out. I could see his mouth moving, but it was too much for my brain with all I have just come up, and out of in the last 2 years. Breast Cancer, and four surgeries later I envisioned myself telling the Doctor to go you know where. Of course I didn’t.

What if? What if? What if? Well I only have today. I live one day, and at times one moment at a time. So I now wait for 2 grueling weeks. I wait, and I see. I trust God, and pray a lot. I take that what if and shove it!

What if? Sure it remains at the back of my head with a bandaid on my chin as I grin. What if is not as overwhelming as it was Monday. That is all thanks to a program God gifted me in AA, and my spiritual house today being clean. I know God has me

What if? I don’t know all I know is I trust my unknown future to a very known God. All I have is right now. So with bandaid on my chin I will manage to grin, and make it through my work day! Happy, Joyous, and free me! What if all I have is today

I can’t even blame credulity, I know my hand. I know my part

I can’t remember a time when we were not about thrive, it was a pep talk into perseverance because our daily was one more bolt that was about to be stripped. We had a bag full of all the bolts we vanished its divets from. Repeatedly trying so hard to screw them back into place. A rivet away from homelessness

So co-dependant it would make ill sick, how we pushed for so long I still don’t know. We desperately clung to our 19 year old selves. We had faded away in youth, just as morning faded into night. Swindled by our on sight, it was time to grow up. Yet we didn’t

Pretending we became so very good at, a tea parties delight. Dressed to the kilt with all the latest of gadets. When the rent came do we scrambled to have it. Looks can be deceiving. Dress up a family of four for all to adore, and they will not see famished rising from within. Covered skin with name brands to no end

Even tried to abide as much as the crisp cool dark that we had encased ourselves in would allow. Upon these moments a fire fly here and there was all the light we could muster. Running with dark like a wolf, the angels always trying to get back hold of our then bones we were so scathed from false pretense 

I can’t remeber a time when we were not about thrive. It was who we were. How we would come upon the monies to pay the next bill in wait. Ever heard of this thing called a job?!? The bible quotes a man who does not work will lack bread for his table. This was no fable. Did you ever really get a look at our seating for four. What was missing, a feast yes that was one. If you looked further you could see our kids jeans hanging from wasted waitslines their weight melting away from lack of nourishment. There was no flourish, we had not much left of our remains. Dig the graves make them ready, for we are barely going to make it

I had already said my goodbyes to all that tried to make way for health. The wealth we wrapped ourselves in was a farse. We were a travesty. Take off your tapestry you will see we are empty

Empty your pockets of only lint. Even more vacant were our hearts. For we had long resided elsewhere. We had no longer a barring even Gorilla glue would not do. We were beyond the fix. We were beyond charities hand.  People had caught on, fraudulent demeanor. No pity, for we dug ourselves into a slimy pit of ruins. Living in ancients past, I feel sorry for our story is a really badly written county artist song. Not melodic in the sing along. In fact turn that crap off 

I can’t remember a time when we were not about thrive, did you honestly think we would survive living like that? We were just a moment away from the loss of it all. We had been laughed at, and seen as fools. All our schooling went on the wayside for we were always trying to thrive. We never were about DO!! You think the two don’t walk hand in hand? Fools

We did not survive we are now casaulietes of our own demise. I can’t remember a time we were not about thrive. Maybe if I was to blame credulity I could say, but I know it takes to two to make a mess of a life that was one. I see this today with much clearer vision. Not gullible to my part, and I guess we both should have seen there was nothing that could keep us from falling apart. Spiritually ill makes for clean kill.

Praise God for His forgiveness reigns down from above, at the cross I found myself weeping for forgiveness, and asking for His unconditional love for all of four of our loss. Regain our spirit, and renew of hearts soul. Lord God save us, make us fragrant with your shed blood for us. Allow us to see the dove take flight, and once again reside in your light. Years later I thank you for I believe you have worked circles in miracles of at least three of these lives. Prayer, and fervency of thy will not mine. For my Lord God His love is divine. He has restored the years I allowed the locusts to eat away. How great a God is He

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/15/

Goofy is as goofy does, intention-ally me

Extrovert by nature, I don’t need the bottle to articulate. I am just a happy go lucky person, and the grass is greener where I now reside. No need to hide 

Was scared to be sober. Felt booze was always in order. Needed it so I thought, I actually am better without a drop. Goofy I am, and even goofier as sober I stay

I am outgoing, and bubbly it just secretes from within naturally. God has rescued, and revived me in the clarity I have daily. I am a better person dry

I am not in need of that toxic waste, it fooled me into thinking I was better off with its vibrance seeping from within. No need to wet my soul with the bottle of old

For today is yet another day goofy, and authenticity reigns. I do not have to fake it to barely make it. I am alive, and free without that dreaded bottle to cling

Extreme has always been my person, for I am an alcoholic. We thrive off of drama, and chaotic ruins we wade in. The differance is with my Lord and Saviour, I don’t have to dwelve there 

Held captive no more, goofy is as goofy does. Laughter is my new step. I lept into the arms of my gracious Father. For there I find sobriety, one day at a time. Sober fun is easy, less dramatized too. I long since changed my shoes, and was made brand new

Bid the bottle adieu, and dry I will stay yet another day. Less complicated is this barren land. Free of muddy tear stained puddles, made by me. Thank you Jesus for setting me free!!

Free to commuicate without sloppy, slurring words. Absurdity no more. Goofy I adore! Sober is me! Intention-ally me!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/11/intentional/

Heavy with makeshift flask in hand, finally I reached dry land

Free write using the https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/03/26/flask/

My hand used to be heavy with a makeshift flask, whatever I could do to get my hands on my poison to then drink it deep within my skin. Absorbed until it wore off. The first sense of any sensationalism I would repeat. Oh how neat my life seemed, inside screams of hallow cries for help then gulp. No more. I was fine again like a broken record I still played. So I drank as long as the needle still dropped, and I couldn’t hear the screech once I poured. Alcohol I adored

A tattered water bottle always in hand thinking I was fooling you, fooling me what was red and looked like Gatorade was really wine. Oh and I was fine, just fine

My hand was always heavy with a makeshift flask I drank so heavily I was deaf and driven by the rage I felt so deep, shaky hands and blood scorned breath

A broken bottle opened upon the sidewalk’s edge drinking the moisture from the bottle just enough to get my taste buds aroused, then I would drink it fast and hard. Enough to make me blind, deaf, and dumb~NUMB

Misery lurked inside that makeshift flask, but I just couldn’t feel enough your asks. I didn’t care to be your friend, nothing could compete with my plastic flask. I buried all my secrets with each sip, camouflage with what resembled rage

The air around me was a cage, I was shackled to my own incomprehensible demoralization. Lost in my blood stained sin, progressive it was always rage again. Crazy was the game, and I was always ready to play

Today I don’t carry that makeshift flask. I surrendered, and was set free. My Lord Jesus rescued me. The cage was opened, and out came the fragmented pages of me. I realized my powerless over that toxic drink. I couldn’t drink just one, and 100 was never enough. I couldn’t, He can, and I knew I needed to let Him. Jesus took me in, even though I spat all over Him. He is that gracious, and good

I surrender myself to this beautiful life of sobriety one day at a time. Knowing I have to do whatever is suggested of me. The air around me has changed, my five senses are clear set afire. I see the most beautiful things I used to take for granted. I see the most vibrant of colors, and smell. No more self made hell

There isn’t enough as of today to get me to wish to go back the other way. My life is beautiful, and I love being able to feel. I don’t have to hide my makeshift flask. Traded it for the hope I carry proudly for all to see. No more hiding for me. I am alive, and I am soaring high on eagles wings shackles fell beneath me long ago

God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. I will always share my experience, strength, and hope! My life is dope, and not the kind you shoot into you veins. It’s dope with the gift of sobriety, and the miracle of life that sits here writing this today! God reached in, and shook me to my core. Spiritually ill no more! I today am not that alcoholic horror

Free of my makeshift flask heavy in hand. My feet are on dry land, soil wet with seeds to be turned with the tools I need to keep me from having to pick up that next drink. All contingent on my spiritual house. God Has my will and life today, this disease is progressive so my prayer is for this I stay

But those who hope in the Lordwill renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~Isaiah 40:31

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/03/26/flask/