Ya snooze, ya lose…

I am His! 

My sleepy eyes pull the blankets away from my face, it is time to rise. I don’t even stretch or give my body time for pause. I don’t give my brain too much time to think before I go to prayer in surrender of myself. I don’t awaken the soul, I don’t pull back my curtains, and I don’t even answer my phone. For what awaits me outside my front door I must be spiritually prepared for

I usually quickly jump out of bed, never been one to push the snooze. My theory ya snooze, ya loose. My pot of coffee is as well waiting to be aroused. My spirit is ready to be fed. I am ready to receive what God has for me. From coffee to couch. In seek of my Father, and His word. Usually I am in need of a lengthy visit at his feet

I sit quietly absorbing my morning devotion, praying my heart be softened. My spirit enlightened, and my soul changed. I surrender ALL, as this is where I sit knowing I am no longer a prisoner to self. It is His will or the hills. I don’t run anymore. So those hills, and hiding out is not an option. I was unconditionally adopted into my new family. One of a higher calling, and following. One that requires me to be ready when I pull back my curtain, answer the ring of my phone, and even more so ready for what awaits me outside my front door.

For it is thy will not my will be done, easily distracted I can be. So discipline I have set into practice. My daily reprieve that truly excites me when my feet hit the floor. For I am no longer a prisoner to self

I am His!

“I am the daughter of a King, who is not moved by the world. For my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear because I am His” – ‘Fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine. Your are precious and honored in my sight because I love you.

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2021/04/30/word-of-the-day-snooze/

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Acceptance with God’s help is the answer to ALL my problems today…

This move for me took a lot out of me, more than I ever imagined. I thought I kind of had this whole double mastectomy thing licked. 6 weeks after my surgery I was walking daily, and soon that went into mountain biking. A lot of mountain biking too!

Well mountain biking is one stretch of the upper body, and a whole lot of lower body strength. With this move my body has experienced so much push back. My body is not used to the stretching, bending, pulling, and lifting that comes with unpacking a home full of boxes.

This week I have experienced 3 major emotional breakdowns. My body does not want to cooperate with what my brain wants to accomplish. So this leaves me with acceptance. I have got to accept the limitations of my body. I am not one to easily ask for help. This week though I had no choice, but to pick up my phone. I needed to talk about my emotional state because I can’t afford to be stuck for too long where I have been. Right now I am just in the mud, if I don’t lean into God with acceptance soon enough I will find myself in quicksand. Sinking in self pity, and letting my ego get the best of me. Humility is a must for me!

It is amazing at how having a spiritual connection with my Lord, and savior as well a recovery program keeps me touch with my character defects. I can see when I am missing the mark. I am gifted the tools today to not have to stay where I have been. I just got to get my tool box out, and get the tool needed for this difficult time. I need the serenity prayer, and God to help me understand who I am now after my double mastectomy. As well the no sensation in my breasts has really hit me hard.

So I was kind of smacked up side the head with a major reality that I am not as well of as I thought I was. I do though know with my loving God, AA program, and all the support of my family I can get there. My husband is a God send!

I will always be amazed at how God is so faithful to meet us right where we are. We can be at the highest point of joy, or the lowest point of grief that comes with much weariness, and He is there. He is sovereign, and He loves me unconditionally. So there it is I have had a heck of a week with some major choking gut wrenching tears, and whacky thoughts. I am far from perfect, and I have felt a little crazy with my emotional upsets. Though everyone has reassured me that it okay to fall to pieces, as long as I don’t stay in pieces. So my prayer is God will grant me acceptance!

I am far from the superhuman I was wanting to be, and pushing myself to be. As well as the lack of sensation in my breasts makes me no less the woman than I was. I am a child of God! My value is not in, and of this world. My value rests in the eternal world of my Lord! Praise God for that! I am always amazed at His faithfulness to His children! So blessed to be one of His, and in His family today!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/11/05/amazed/

He loves a wretch like me, an alcoholic whore. He does adore!

Cloaked; wore the veil of shame, cloak and dagger was my game

A lie sat at the surface of my lips

From alcoholic poison words would drip, soothing the moisture absorbed. Absurd in my own selfish hoard

A theifl! Callous, and defeat were the shoes I wore. An alcoholic whore. For God was pushed out the door, threw away that key

There was no hide, just a scared little girl sitting in her corner. Wanting protection, yet so fearful of rejection

God was calling on me, and I pushed Him so far from my sight. I sat in the darkness in the steal of the night

Made my own bed of sin. Billows of lies. Tripped too many times on my so called life, walking a fine line

A thief! Callous was my heart. Had drinking down to an art. I was the master of my own disguise

God kept calling on me, and wanted me on bended knees. That is when I finally gave in, and put my bottle down. Traded my lies, for truth in Jesus’s word. A crown

The air is clean, and my body pure. For God’s holy water I drink from His well daily. Time has told I am 7 years old new in Him. Sober is my march. I keep my eyes fixated on the cross. For there is where I win with Him

Victory proclaimed in Jesus name, one day at a time. One more day sober, one more day his daughter. For I serve such a gracious King to love a wretch like me…

Romans 7:24

Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see’Twas grace that taught
My heart to fear
And grace my Fears relieved
How precious did
That grace appear
The hour I first believedThrough many dangers
Toils and snares
We have already come
‘Twas grace hath brought
Us safe thus far
And grace will lead us homeWhen we’ve been there
Ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun…

Sober is my gait, sober is smile, and sober is my heart, I am connected to my God who saved a wretch like me! No greater love known to man!

Ya snooze, ya loose!

I am His!

My sleepy eyes pull the blankets away from my face, it is time to rise. I don’t even stretch or give my body time for pause. I don’t give my brain too much time to think before I go to prayer in surrender of myself. I don’t awaken the soul, I don’t pull back my curtains, and I don’t even answer my phone. For what awaits me outside my front door I must be spiritually prepared for

I usually quickly jump out of bed, never been one to push the snooze. My theory ya snooze, ya loose. My pot of coffee is as well waiting to be aroused. My spirit is ready to be fed. I am ready to receive what God has for me. From coffee to couch. In seek of my Father, and His word. Usually I am in need of a lengthy visit at his feet

I sit quietly absorbing my morning devotion, praying my heart be softened. My spirit enlightened, and my soul changed. I surrender ALL, as this is where I sit knowing I am no longer a prisoner to self. It is His will or the hills. I don’t run anymore. So those hills, and hiding out is not an option. I was unconditionally adopted into my new family. One of a higher calling, and following. One that requires me to be ready when I pull back my curtain, answer the ring of my phone, and even more so ready for what awaits me outside my front door.

For it is thy will not my will be done, easily distracted I can be. So discipline I have set into practice. My daily reprieve that truly excites me when my feet hit the floor. For I am no longer a prisoner to self

I am His!

But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head. Psalm 3:3

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/08/17/longer