Tag: joy

FOTD—October 31st—soft white scrunchies

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 6 Comments

https://ceenphotography.com/2022/10/30/fotd-october-31-dahlia-2/

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Fools Gold in that bottle I held…Personified allibies

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 2 Comments

Just a shell walking in a lifeless form, a mannequin with barely a beating heart. Flat line waiting for the paddles, nothing could rattle my covetness for my numbness slathered

Dormant my personality lied, the zeal suppressed with alcoholics hallucinate hands. Reside in my own cell, an alcoholic hell. Sit in my own sin, wallow in my trademark venom

Never could pass the test, and any zest I may have had was laid to rest. Idolized the moisture of my enbrieated state. Filled with hate 

Fools gold in that bottle I held, meld into my skin. Personfied allibi, fake beyond each disguise. Lost with each sip, lucid goes as I got hosed

Swam with the sharks. Ravenous, blood thirsty. Needed that alcohol to occupy my soul. No holes, just bury all my secrets in my skin. Soak it up, let it be my end

It was my first thought upon waking the craving pulsating, and trampling my brain. It was the last thought upon laying my drunk head into a blackout state, death hovered 

This was the alcolohic me, numb me. Take away the pain for just one more moment. I hurt so bad inside. No where for God to reside. Hibernated, and bathed myself with my poison. My soul took cover, and demons hovered. Lurking in the night, I became as dark the tonic I drank. Rank with stank

Crippled by my own hands, hardened heart. Selfish, drowning in my own spite

Feeding off the juicy lies that came as day turned into night, and night turned into day. Spiced it up, made stuff up, my life was but a lie. Hiding in my bottle, this was the alcolohic me

No more hiding, no more numbing, no more running. For Jesus salvaged the wreckage I made of my life. Gave me hope, and took away my craving. He took my heart, and transplanted it at the cross. Carved my name, where His body hang in death for me on Calvary 

Laid the bottle down, and now I am unmasked and even somewhat vulnerable. For the love, laughter, and life I have now I would never trade it for a day of desperation lost. For I was off the grid, but now am found. In Him I abound. My masks are no more, my smile is real. In Jesus was my appeal….pathos no more, joy so surreal. That character no longer resides, for I am alive and set free of the dark cage of lifeless air suffocating me

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-2

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/19/

Me ordinary, not a chance

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ Leave a comment

Me ordinary nah! This I just have never been. Too much in this life to be a cookie cutter. I have never fit into any mold

Me ordinary nope not a chance. A tad sarcastic rolled in extrovert. I am a bit goofy, and laugh at my own jokes. I can get a tad loud so I have been told. Even with being 47 years old

Me ordinary that is something I hope I can say I will never be. I always hope to just be just me. Random, funny, loud, far from shy, and what you see is what you get. I will say Jesus shines through all of it. I hid for all too long. So now I live, loud and proud

Me ordinary just ain’t such a thing

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2021/06/04/ordinary/

Just for today I am free…

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 11 Comments

Just for today! One day at a time I am free! For this I am so very fortunate, for there used to a grave with my name etched deep into the stone. So cold

I am free!

By the grace of God just for today I am not irritable, or discontent. I don’t clamor off of chaos. I thrive off of peace, and serenity. I am free! For this I am fortunate death is not knocking at my door. Clamor, and drown in sorrow no more

I live, and reside in the solution. The cobwebs are gone but spider still exists. This is contingent solely on the maintenance of my spiritual house. Today it is clean, I have turned it all over to God. I have the tools to live in the world free! For this I am fortunate I am NOT desperately seeking my next pour, it was such a horror

I don’t have to pick up when things are not all rainbows, butterflies, or unicorns. Which in this last year few are the days of any of those, but I don’t have drink over it today. I choose honesty, willingness, and open mindedness. I choose to know I am not in charge of the show. I also have no control over people, places, or things. That makes me free! For this I am fortunate because it takes me out of self, I live on this side of the dirt

This is what God has done for me, gifted me a fellowship with the solution to live sober. Gifted me a cancer free life. He has for today set me free. For this I am fortunate I have been gifted another breath of life, new sight

With all this said I have a date with a bike, and some miles to travel where the most beautiful of time comes to absorb my Heavenly Father, and His will for my life. All this because I am free. For this I am fortunate because yesterday is gone, and tomorrow I do not yet know. Just now! Wow, amazing this is even my life. All glory to God

Just for today!

Saw a lady about a tattoo this weekend!
Rode the farthest yet! Wet from sweat 😓
My place where I can feel God, just look at it! Free!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2021/04/26/fortunate/

Comic relief, while my breast was fondled by my doctor

~ Lisa M. Boyd ~ 8 Comments

I had to see my surgeon yesterday. He confirmed every stitch that was holding my left tissue expander in place were pulled, and no longer holding it in place. So it is now mobile, and that is why I felt so much pain.

My expander had actually flipped, he asked if I wanted him to try by hand to flip it back into place. I wasn’t thrilled at the idea, but if it meant helping with the pain until surgery I was in.

I was in a lot of pain in that breast, as well torn muscle on both sides. So my kind husband grabbed by hand, and I leaned into my doctor. He was very much grappling my breast with twists, and turns. His hope was by manipulating it, it might flip back. A couple times he thought he got it. Nope it just flipped again, and again. He tried!

It was more than an unpleasant feeling. As well very awkward with my husband on one side, and my breast in my doctors hand. My husband is so great at making uncomfortable moments funny. He had some very colorful jokes, and he was on a roll. He had us all laughing. For a few minutes I forgot all about the fondling of my breast. It was something you would see on a comedy television series.

I am so grateful my husband was able to take me yesterday, and for his comic relief. By the end of my appointment I felt very good with the end result. Even though my expander was not able to be flipped my surgeon is so encouraged on the end outcome. Of course jokes were made about that as well. I really needed that laughter, and I realized how serious my days had gotten with all the pain.

I feel lighter today, and know I need to try hard to not get caught up in the depression pain can bring. I need to remember this too shall pass.

There is so much to be said for an attitude of gratitude, and a little bit of a reality check. It was all needed, because this week hasn’t been my best. Nor have I been. So I thank God for always helping me get to where I need to be. All it took was a little fondling of my breast, and some comic relief that I won’t repeat… 🤣