
All I see is the shadow of a little girl, all though the skin I am in is my adult. I can’t face it day in
All I see is tears pooling down my cheeks, to weak to share. Would they even care
All I see is this little girl scared to death as she crosses the road, memories in toll. Mom screaming “no please don’t do it”. Me curled in a little ball, sobbing uncontrollably for what is about to be my daddy’s end
I am too scared to face my own shadow. I just keeping walking thinking the memories will pass with each swift step. Just me in stringy hair, wanting all the noise to stop. My heart is skipping beats, but my feet are now running. My reflection is only that of my little 3rd grade self. Heeeellllpppp
I am panting, now sprinting from memories pain. The air around me feels like a cage. Stop the insane. Stop him mom, don’t allow him to take his life. He is only thirty, and I nine. My mom his wife. Why oh why? Stop the boiling in my veins from words I’m putting together as horrified moments end
That was it, she screamed louder than anyone I had ever heard “NO”! It was a nightmare, but it was my nightmare true. I ran out, and the phone cord dangled from the table. My mom was not there she ran as fast as my shadow, and left me there all alone staring at the phone bouncing in sorrow. No more tomorrow daddy
I am all alone, I put all the jargon together in my head. My daddy pulled the trigger, and now he is dead. No hope, so lost. At the cost of leaving me alone with my shadow as a little girl, and not wanting to change into its adult as years pass
I can’t chase that shadow anymore, and even give it a moments stare. The pain runs caverns deep. All I would do is weep. Look at it Lisa, what do you see? A five foot two inch girl, in heels. I am not that little girl anymore with stringy hair. I must except the shadow I walk with. It is me, I can’t reside in fear. I am here dealing with the truth, just me and my shadow. It no longer looms. Back to school the next day, and back to reality today I must remain. Sane
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