Written for Citysonnet Photo A Day: October 23: small
Why would today not be the perfect day for a move! I can see in the dark can’t you?!? 👀🥶
It is snowing like crazy, and we just lost power. Going to get our keys, Lord please lead us! I am sorry I am just not seeing any beauty in the snow that is falling. Oh golly!
No not in your pockets that will not do, words from the old. Flabbergassted this was me…A glimpse into my insanity
Airliner size bottles are easier to hide, they aide in clever. If you consider misdemeanors clever. I hid all sorts of alcohol just about everywhere I could think of, beer too
Airliners slip neatly into the bottom of a shoe, if you have a slew of them no one will be onto you. Boots are even better
They also go quite nicely between the the mattress and box spring, great for the picking once everyone has kicked it for the night
I had managed with certian outfits to conceal them on my person, like anyone is willing to do any lurking
I had a slit in my purse lining barely big enough for these tiny sized swigs to slip right downside of. They lay neatly concealed under my wallet, and the other have to’s. Not a single person ever knew
I hid them in the bathroom among my makeup mess, I must confess I spent a lot of time in the bathroom
Beer cans float well at the top of a toilet bowl, and who ever looks in there unless the flapper becomes an issue, Phew
Poolside was a place I liked to get licked. I hid them in one the community bathrooms under the sink. Way back in a corner, no one ever knew. Use the bathroom, pound one down. 5 left to go. Then blitzed
This was just the normal for me, I thought nothing of it. No big deal. Everything was secret, and hidden. I was a very driven alcoholic, it was always there. I was never without it
I can only imagine my poor liver soaking this in day in and day out. At 5’2″ 108 pounds then. I was drinking myself to death, and darn good at it too
As I write this it makes me sad that I was this deceiving, I believe I had really nobody fooled. I just sat and wallowed in petty resentments. In realtity I was fooling only myself, I was a creep. I was in deep
I filled up a plastic water bottle with a wine of choice thinking everybody would think it was some sort flavored fruit drink, I carried it with me as I shopped. It was always fully loaded and in tow. With me everywhere I would go
I took alcohol to work in a traveler mug, smuggling in booze is a great way to get you fired, it happened a couple times. Oh yes the day I got my D.U.I. Make it worse get fired, sob and despair. Sit in your car with drink after drink, then see how you drive. Right into a buff Increbile Hulk size police officers cuffs, and off to the county jail. $1,000 bail
I still for sometime never looked the part. Looks can be deceiving. That I was. Always dressed to impress, and well schooled. For a moment I could pass myself off as able. Then I would start the job get “my desk” and my booze would dribble from the table
I was not able. Why do they call it a functioning alcoholic? Usually every one knows. What just because I could drink everybody under the table taking in copias amounts of alcohol without an ounce of sickness or headache
I was not able. Just because I got up, and drove myself to work? Usually with a drink in the middle console easing my anxieties the whole route there. I just did not care, or did I? I was loosing myself
I was lost in an alcoholic insanity. Using alcohol as a bandage for my conflicted heart. Albert Einstein said it best; “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
So I became a professional at something yet, how proud where was my reward? Blue ribbon hangining or a trophy please, “Insanity Professor”. In less time then it takes to get an AA degree
It has been 7 years and 2 months of sober! Wow!! 7 years since I realized I was powerless over alcohol. Gave up alcohol in exchange for my life eternal. My life in Jesus!! I carry Him around everywhere I go. He is with me to guard my heart, he takes up permanent residence. I am fully armored against the evil of this world. I know all to well what it is to be of world. Now I am just in it. As it is written to be. God is my keeper, and has reigns on me. I was convicted greatly by my lack of self control. No more for that is a life that has been said good ridden to, and forgiven.
Can you believe the madness I endured! How absurd! It almost seems harder to be alcoholic, with its trickery and hiding. Thank you Lord for now my abiding is in you!!
Airliners are for travel to and from a city or county, travel mugs hold my morning coffee, and plastic water bottles are my most prized possesion as I drink a ton of water. I don’t touch a toilet bowl unless it is a must to be attended too. My purse is in tact. I keep my Eli-Pen in there, and most know it can be gone through. I show for work free without slurring my speech, and with that get to keep my job.
Now here, for all this we can celebrate. Blue ribbon no need, eternal life is my now fated prize!!
I exchanged insanity for sanity for a life eternal with Jesus!
27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. John 10:27-28
Her life had always been stuffy. She had to be so prim, and proper. Her parents put her in “princess etiquette classes” at such a young a age. Her whole life had been staged
She felt free, alive, and like the whole world was at her disposal when she was with him. He had a wild spirit, and it was contagious. He was mysterious, and she was so infatuated with him
Although from all outward appearances they looked one in the same. He was like the game she was never allowed to play. She felt like a rebel, and her restless spirit was unleashed
As they stood there in the art museum neither were amused. His hand gripping tight her butt cheek, they weren’t even in admire of the art. They were speaking in a language she had never flirted with in her entire life
He was saying words she could have never have imagined thinking, let alone repeating. Yet there she stood saying even more, trying to even the score. The game was so fun to her, she asked if wanted to leave in rescue of how her body felt. Unquenchable infatuation it was a game of lust not love. Checkmate he won her over to the lurid lifestyle of rebellion
Say it isn’t so, old man winter is rearing its ugly head abruptly this year. I can’t remember a winter it snowed before Halloween, let alone this early since I was a kid
The city is bustling to tire shops. They will be booked out for days in service of the great swap. From regular tires, to studs. What a dud this put on all of our moods. It is just way too soon
Say it isn’t so, SNOW. A winter storm warning has been put in effect. So as well we are praying about the safety of our move. Up on the 3rd floor of very steep stairs, the slightest wet. You bet someone is bound to fall. We may be at a stall until the following weekend
Hustling in trade of autumn clothing, getting out my winter thermals. As well my beanies, boots, and gloves. It just managed to sneak up on us. So yeah we are in a fuss
Say it is isn’t so, SNOW. 26 degrees oh please allow all power to stay in tact, and the trees to still stand. They scare in read of treacherous driving conditions. Stay off the road they plead. Flu season will be rampant with the temperature dropping so drastically. Is old man winter laughing sarcastically? We are all in a state of panic, out getting all we need
Guzzling down the warmth of my coffee, getting my body ramped up to go out to get our necessities. I am no fool to winters plea. I have vivid memories of winter storm warnings. Reminded how it sweeps in with a vengeance. Mornings with an Alaskan cold front too cold or dangerous to go out, waking to the power being out. It is freaking cold, chilled to the bone. Too old to be excited with a childlike thrill. I know the drill
Say it isn’t so, SNOW. Maybe some excitement for the little kids. They love the first snowfall, the flakes all different shapes and sizes. Puffy kids bumbled in snowsuits in their front yards in build of a snowman. I guess I am too old, too cold, and honestly a little shocked
Lord God, is there any way to make this stop? I am snuggled up in my blanket. Just can’t shake this, and I believe from the news I see we were all totally caught off guard. Oh Lord this is all in your hands. For you are the creator of all the seasons, and you decided to make our winter appear. Help us ready, and trust. Help us be prepared, allow for everyone to get a slot in snow tires long appointment books. For this is really off the hook
Say it isn’t, Snow! Not yet!
“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.” Genesis 8:22
I admit yesterday I was bit testy after my pre-op surgery appointment.
I admit it seemed like I had a million papers to sign on Covid alone (so exaggeratory) but hey this is my story.
I admit I was saddened when my doctor said my mom can’t care for me after surgery since she works at the biggest hospital in our town. She would have had to self quarantine for 2 weeks prior. So whatever.
I admit I don’t really have a so whatever attitude I am just overwhelmed by all that was said. Covid has changed everything about this surgery.
I admit I need to get on my knees, and pray for God to take the anxiety as well agitation I am feeling at this moment. I need to give it all to Him.
I admit I am so far from perfect, and my attitude has been far from desirable.
I admit I need to pray for God to give me unshakeable faith. One that does not even flinch at the slightest discomfort. He will furnish the quiet place for my soul with all the furniture of faith. I need all the help I can get I admit.
I elect right now to be removed from the unrest of my soul. Beholding God’s calmness in my impatience, God’s patience in my limitations, God’s perfection. This is my election to be free of self, and allow the spirt to work within.
I admit I am of a human, with a spirit that needs attuned to my Heavenly Father today! I admit I have been afraid. I am ready for this breast cancer journey to be over. When really it is not up to me, so my plea get myself out of the way of His will for all of this today!
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
Written for Citysonett Photo A Day: October 20: enormous
My day will be spent away from WP today. I have my pre-surgery appointment today, for what prayerfully should be my last breast cancer surgery.
I will have a mandatory Covid test, and some other blood work too. As much as I would rather stay home, and stay warm this is necessary. So Lord willing everything will go as expected.
As well the day of our move the temperature is dropping drastically to a whopping 33 degrees, with the possibility of snow Friday. So crazy I grew up here, and this will be the first in many years to get snow before Halloween.
So lots to turn over in prayer today. God has us, and always has our best at heart. I am trusting on November 9th, my surgery will go without any complications. For God is the ultimate surgeon. We have been on a very long breast cancer road, and I am ready for this to be the end! 🙏🏻
God bless! Prayers would be greatly appreciated and coveted!
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lordyour God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Every crease on my face has a story the furrows of an old lady that has worked since the age of 9
The wrinkles are that of a once youthful young woman that gave birth to 10 beautiful babies
Every line signifies wisdom, and perseverance through the storms of life. I am a wife, and mother first
The pucker around my lips reveal a smile, I am blessed with the gift of health. Wealth is not measured by the amount of money in your pockets. It is all about family
Every fold in my face is the memories I hold more precious than gold, priceless love
The layers around my eyes have seen joy, heartache, grief, and loss. The seams have held tears, but I try not to let anyone see. They don’t need to bare my years of crinkles, no one needs spy
Every wrinkle makes me the old woman I am today. I am better for every connecting line. For my life was created for them not me. Even the deep rooted crow’s feet are years of me taking the back seat
This is my face, and I would have it look no other way