Fools Gold in that bottle I held…Personified allibies

Just a shell walking in a lifeless form, a mannequin with barely a beating heart. Flat line waiting for the paddles, nothing could rattle my covetness for my numbness slathered

Dormant my personality lied, the zeal suppressed with alcoholics hallucinate hands. Reside in my own cell, an alcoholic hell. Sit in my own sin, wallow in my trademark venom

Never could pass the test, and any zest I may have had was laid to rest. Idolized the moisture of my enbrieated state. Filled with hate 

Fools gold in that bottle I held, meld into my skin. Personfied allibi, fake beyond each disguise. Lost with each sip, lucid goes as I got hosed

Swam with the sharks. Ravenous, blood thirsty. Needed that alcohol to occupy my soul. No holes, just bury all my secrets in my skin. Soak it up, let it be my end

It was my first thought upon waking the craving pulsating, and trampling my brain. It was the last thought upon laying my drunk head into a blackout state, death hovered 

This was the alcolohic me, numb me. Take away the pain for just one more moment. I hurt so bad inside. No where for God to reside. Hibernated, and bathed myself with my poison. My soul took cover, and demons hovered. Lurking in the night, I became as dark the tonic I drank. Rank with stank

Crippled by my own hands, hardened heart. Selfish, drowning in my own spite

Feeding off the juicy lies that came as day turned into night, and night turned into day. Spiced it up, made stuff up, my life was but a lie. Hiding in my bottle, this was the alcolohic me

No more hiding, no more numbing, no more running. For Jesus salvaged the wreckage I made of my life. Gave me hope, and took away my craving. He took my heart, and transplanted it at the cross. Carved my name, where His body hang in death for me on Calvary 

Laid the bottle down, and now I am unmasked and even somewhat vulnerable. For the love, laughter, and life I have now I would never trade it for a day of desperation lost. For I was off the grid, but now am found. In Him I abound. My masks are no more, my smile is real. In Jesus was my appeal….pathos no more, joy so surreal. That character no longer resides, for I am alive and set free of the dark cage of lifeless air suffocating me

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-2

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/19/

Pristine the puppeteers hands gleam

Written for the Word of the Day challenge: pristine

Porcelain doll, so dainty and fair. How long have you been sitting in there?

High upon the top shelf of the lit curio cabinet, I see you are scatched and dirty

You are definitely a sight Amoungst the reburished dolls, they are so pretty. Gleaning white. I bet you were just as them at one time, a doll makers delight

Your eye sits out of socket, you’re a little twisted in your posture. Not beyond repair, I see you sitting you are not beyond my stare

Porcelain doll, so dainty and fair. How long have you been in sitting there?

I imagine with all the dust fallen in your hair, it has been awhile. Your not groomed or styled like the rest

I bet you are one that holds much value, and history too. I can see my hands taking great pride in you. A new stiched outfit, your hair with a soft curl around your little face

I will buff you, and shine you back to your prime, and put you back in place. Antique, you are. Priceless, I as a doll collector I see your value. I look pass the grease smudges on your face. I see you white as snow in its place

When my hands are finished with the making of you new I will place you back upon the top shelf. You will no longer lean on the one sitting next to you. You will stand with elegance. Every eye transfixed to the top shelf, where you are no longer tarnished

Porcelain doll so dainty and fair, look at her skin glowing white, almost translucent. She is near perfect. Her cheeks soft pink with matching lips too. I wonder who takes claim, who’s hands does this doll belong too? Famous hands I trust with the look of that of a near perfect touch

Pristine his hands, and face gleam at the new work His eyes see

White as snow, white as snow, thought my sins were as scarlet,
Lord I know, Lord I know, that I’m clean and forgiven.
Through the power of Your blood, through the wonder of Your love,
through faith in you I know that I can be
white as snow.

~Maranotha Music

Phillipians 1:6

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion

Photo Credit me; I have always thought I looked like a doll in this picture. I am poised in a doll like fashion. My head tilted just right, and my face dolly like. My skin fair, and face with a hint of pink. Likened to a doll, how neat. I bask at the change in me from my makers hands. This is not what my portrait would have resembled a few years back. I neeeded reassmbled. For my maker to make me clean, and place in back in my rightful place. He did that indeed!!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/14/pristine/

Welcome to Lisa’s world of words, and photography…ME!ABOUT MEAbout Lisa:I will begin with I am madly in love with my life today. This has not always been the case. I am 46 years old, and my journey to get me to madly in love has taken me down quite a broken ratty road. Yet this road of rubble was created by my own hands, as well the insanity of my heart. I was spiritually bankrupt. Almost 7 years ago I awoke from my slumber of finding solace in the bottom of a bottle of broken promises. I was filled with guilt, shame, self-pity, and so was the saying “woe is me”. I became a the poster child for “the world’s tiniest violin” always wanting someone to invest in my sorrow, and childish whims. I did not know how to adult, let alone how to live life without my numbing tonic daily. Well that is how it all started, alcoholism as I have learned is progressive. So daily turned to hourly, which turned to as soon as any sensationalism of my existence in this world seeped through my drunken stupor. I would then chug, gulp, and lick every ounce that bottle had to offer me in my awakened state of metal instability. I was spiritually ill! I was fooled into thinking I was trapped by a love affair I could not divorce myself from. My walls became higher, my veil darker, and my grave heavy with what was what I thought the last nail in the coffin. I was blind, deaf, and dumb. All my life was a fairytale of stories made up my own venomous ways, and my disguise of that darn bottle. I thought I had the whole world deceived into who was me, oh how sadly wrong I was. ‘Twas pride comes before the fall. I fell oh yes I did…HARD! Crushed every bone my body wore, all my blood was about to pour. Was I ready for what God had in store!Fast forward to now, my “one day at a time.” life. I am today free of my shackles, and I have the tools to know how to live my life on life’s terms without having to pick up. I am also aware this is contingent on my spiritual house, I have to be willing to turn my will over to God daily. I have to accept I am an alcoholic. “One drink is never enough, and a thousand is too many”. I have hope today, and I wake up grateful for another breath of life. I have been growing, and I am adulting to the best of my ability. I am living, and death is not at my door nor is it part of my daily schedule today.God gifted me life, He renewed my spirit within me. I am happily married to my soul mate. I have two beautiful young adult children, and 3 beautiful young adult step-children. I am goofy, and I love to laugh. I love having my hubby by my side in all of my life adventures. Mountain biking is my passion, and I love summer. Summer and I are like buddies, I can barely handle the goodbye until we meet again summer. Sign me up for anything outdoors, yes even winter sports. I live in Spokane Washington, the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I love to write, and have been here in WordPress before. I was a daily blogger, and frequented inside here for a couple years.I have been being molded, and shaped more as of recent by my potters hands. I took a little reprieve when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am now three months post mastectomy, and partial reconstruction. I have one more surgery to be done in the late fall. I am healing phenomenally, and feel so much gratitude for my life. I began anew in here because I did not want to be stuck in a niche of what I wrote about. I am just going to write from the heart, and I will use the word of the day challenge often. Hey maybe even a few surprises will flow from the keys, for we never know where the spirit of the heart might lead.You will find many ways I express myself in my writing. Writing styles you will find here are Non-fiction Empathetic, muic, Inspirational, and Chatty too. I am not a photographer by any means, but I do share the ones that are allusive with my writing. I hope you enjoy my blog. I am an author, and am multi-faceted in my articulations of self. None of what I express in here would be possible without my creators hands, and his presence in my life today. For I am Lisa, daughter of God. I reside in my Fathers house, this is where I was restored back to sanity. This is where I find my daily reprieve no matter what is going on with me, on bended knee. If there was anything I could say to anyone it would be “don’t give up before the miracle happens.”And so it begins…I hope you find something that touches your heart, makes you smile, and is welcoming enough to make you wish to stay awhile. God Bless you all.

What are the chances

What are chances even in the midst of a storm you can see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that still has yet to be revealed

What are the chances on a clearly cruddy day you can still lift your hands in praise with an attitude of gratitude because your heart Jesus can heal

What are the chances as the pandemic gets worse, and we are still wearing our masks you can muster a smile underneath for the gift of life you breathe. Being still knowing He is God

What are the chances as the fear of our nation grows and feeds off its sheep you can know Biden may be President but Jesus Christ is King

What are the chances I know for me I will not be under their lock and key. For Jesus my savior holds the world in His hands. Faith over Fear, what are the chances this is how you are living your life. You too can be set free

Have no fear Jesus is near, and He hears the cries of His people. Chances are He already knows how this story ends…amen!

“You’ve never gone too far that God can’t redeem you, restore you, forgive you, and give you a second chance”.

What are the chances He’s given given you already more than one. I know He has me

I’ll take my chances with my Savior and keep looking up, because He has picked me back up time and time again. Chances are He already knows how my story ends…

Forgiven II by Thomas Blackshear

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/01/05/chances/

Decorate me with thee

Decorate me with thee

I wake, and I daily turn my will and my life over to the care of God. Asking in turn His will be done. I ask Him to decorate my heart with the spiritual gift of willingness. A spoonful of willingness to begin my day

I continue throughout my day I am gifted a beautiful daily reprieve where I get to stop at anytime. If I am feeling irritable, or discontent I can pray. God’s address is NOW, wow! I ask Him to decorate my heart with peace and serenity. A spoonful of peace to sweeten up what was a little salty in my head. For certainly I don’t really wish to go back to bed

I take pride in decorating my home, so should I not do the same in the decorations that adorn my heart. Paying attention to every detail in the art. Getting rid of a fractured frame, straightening a crooked picture. Just as the walls in my home are not bare, I am equally aware of the walls of my heart

Lord I ask that you continually decorate my heart with only the art work of your hands. For there is no greater master artist then that of you. Decorate my heart with the boldest of pieces. Where when everyone sees my smile, and my eyes they only see you. For your artist hands give me the gifts my heart so desperately needs daily. Mold me, and make me. Decorate me as it pleases you not me

Decorate me with thee

Colossians 3:1 “Set your hearts on things above”.

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2021/12/20/decorate/

It’s been awhile, and Breast Cancer sucks. Yet I will always praise God!

So I figured it was time to share my heart. I haven’t had anything to write for quite sometime now. I had my 4th Breast Cancer Surgery 6 weeks ago. I didn’t even feel like sharing this with all of you. This was 4 very big surgeries in a year and half. I am tired, yet grateful. I am empty, yet full. I am just focusing on getting through the days, and trying hard to keep it simple.

I imagine I don’t really make sense. I have been posting photography so my blog does not become stagnant. I will be turning 48 in 2 months, and my body is having such a hard time bouncing back after this last surgery. I am not depressed, I am just tired. I am so grateful I did not have to have Chemotherapy, or Radiation. A double mastectomy was enough to mess with my already complex brain. Acceptance with my new body parts took me a year and a half. It was after this last surgery I finally found acceptance. I know without a doubt as much as I did not want to endure another surgery it was God’s will for this to happen. I am finally at peace with looking in the mirror, where I was horrified to look at myself before this last surgery. The mystery of God’s will never ceases to amaze me.

He knew what I needed, and what it would take for acceptance. I was in prayer, and literally on my knees begging God for this for so long. I wasn’t sure if it would come. I trusted He had a plan, and patience was crucial to my survival. As well working my recovery daily, because half measures I know avail me nothing. So I have stayed very vigilant in prayer, and my daily conscious contact with my very loving God.

So here I am tired, and not a single desire to write. I just figured I would share (it was about time). I always know God has his best no matter what. I had a flat tire, and He fixed it. Praise God! My life with my husband is feeling more like “us”, and I am feeling more like “Lisa”. All glory to God. Hopefully I will write again sooner than later. Blessings WP friends, God is so faithful this I know!