Come one, come all. Welcome to our show, take a seat. Let the illusion unfold…

We were a sham

We were a joke

We were in shambles

We were a mockery

We were a masquerade 

We were a travesty

Scoundrelism deployed, hearts destroyed

You sneaking into bed at 5 am undercover fast of the shameful night you had.

Me sneaking off to bed undercover of one to many drinks to bid you adieu.

You with tales of your closest friends falling into aduteriated peril. Hoping they would be at loss for everything. Going to bed with your own head between your tail. Hypocrisy filled your pockets. 

Me with tales to my friends telling them how happy we were, and how all our dreams in Florida were in the making. Drinking my way through each word to help it seem legit. Slit my wrists, in my choke. What a joke. I had another night to lie next to you.

You in forget of your family turning off your phone. I see your wedding ring left on the bedside table. You with a drink in one hand, and bass in the other. Screeching to 90’s cover songs. Your eyes stray to the girls cleavage spilling out, as she leans in to drool over your stage presentation. Your drunk words forget your family, for a moment you are a bachelor. You seem luring, and endearing. Hush now don’t tell anyone. 

Me in shut down mode tuning out the white noise. One more drink will deafen me to their calls. “Mom come play a video game with us, Dad is not going to call.”  Blah, blah, me not so endearing. 

Pretending at its best, we were long lost. Our marriage many years over. Forgiveness you had sought, but the lifestyle you could not drop. We were 4 in the selfish clamity of our marriage. We buried our own kids alive. For it was us that they were to survive, thrive, and find love. Covering them with gloved hands stealing the child in them. All our sins they saw with what should have been innocent eyes. Adulterated/Idolatrous were the ways we walked. In the world we had taken up stock. 

Our kids they can’t breathe anymore, I will keep silent no more. I will shout it from every mountain top in hopes it echoes far, what we were was a hoax!! We toyed with the world one too many times, made a mockery of our wedding vows.

Shake me Lord to my very core, for thee I adore. Forgive me of my ways, and in you for not fervently seeking pleasure. Make my family whole again. Forgive me of being self consumed. Keeping everything behind closed doors. 

The door is wide open now, no hush here. For another day sober, and over is the FARCE! May every causality find peace, mercy, grace, and love. Even the one who stakes no claim. May that heart be broken the yoke again open. Breathe life back into my children let them not asphyxiate on our failings. Let their hearts set sail to unveil all their gifts within.

Hush no more, there is no need for silence…God is the director of this show take off your masks this is no longer our Masquerade Ball. He runs the show!

Snippets of me, Jesus set me free

Shred that picture of me locked behind my own imprisonment of self shame, for today I am not the same

A sleeper, a zombie, a ghost, death knocked on my door. For alcohol I so adored. Out for my own kill, just take away my tears with multiples in beers. No cheers, echos in darkness my own voice. My own choice, bled my own soul with no remorse

A stone cold heart, broken bruised. It was of my own choose. I held that tonic in my hand chose to not live in dry land. My most prized possesion. Drink until I heard no sound. My own hands draped in my own nape wanting my last breath

Toss that portrait of me not willing to fall onto my knees, throw it into the deepest of seas. Cast my burdens at the cross for I was so lost. Drowning in my own sewage

For I am no longer that scared little Lisa sitting in a corner dreading to be loved. For God my Father lifted my face, uncovered my veil. Swaddled me in His uncondtional love, drop of the bottle. Spilled my wounds. Covered with His blood

I sit here with snippets of who I was, and whom I am now. For this could not be for an alcoholic such as me without God I am nothing. Nothing, but here I sit the bondage broke me. Brought me to my knees. Keep that picture close at heart. Beautiful art!  The bottle no longer drawn to my lips. Just Jesus and His words, unconditonal love and grace. For now I am in seek of Jesus’s face. 

Now instead of intoxicated slurred words that once oozed like rapturous venom let from my lips drip Jesus’s word. For I am no longer a sleeper, I slept and wept long enough. Snoozed in booze, and now my soul gets to rest. My veil tossed, for at the cross, are the new snippets of me. How awesome for I am a living testament! Set free!!

Labor Day memories, free as a bird. He gave me wings that set flight!
Route to the Hiawatha Trail 🤙 in celebration of 2 years of marriage

Open your eyes

Open your eyes, can’t you see how murky the water is. Open your eyes can’t you see the water is rising at a rapid speed. Open your eyes can’t you see your own insanity. Daily surviving has become your purpose. You’re so used to living under neath the surface.

Open your eyes can’t you see the jet black veil that covers your face, is it even a surprise it has blinded your sight. Open your eyes can’t you see it’s pitch black, and their is no light. Wake up! You sleeper, you’re so used to living underground.

Open you’re eyes can’t you see all five of your senses are dead. Open your eyes can’t you see your head is on backwards. Open your eyes can’t you see you don’t even know your left from the right. You’re so used to living without any direction, correction is unwarranted. Open your eyes can’t you see you’re so used to living in your coal-black life.

Open your eyes it’s so cold look around at how far down you have fallen. Open your eyes you’re unclothed, and without blankets. Open your eyes you’re so dull to the mossy earth filled hole you have gotten yourself in. Open your eyes to the grimy sloth you have become. You’re so used to living without any feeling.

Open your eyes to your inky pupils. Open your eyes look up, stop looking down. Look up from the lurid waters. Look up, and pull the veil away from your face. Look up from that grimy chamber of self loathing. Look up, and see the light. The light will reveal your clothing. You’re so used to living vulnerable, and exposed. Self malice. You’re completely calloused.

Open your eyes you are no longer drowning, your veil has vanished, and your feet are on soft dry land. Self pity has at last left you, and your eyes are brilliant with light. Your spirit is now filled with living water. Now get used to living, directions, and sight. Know with God who extended His hand in save of you, you don’t have to live with barely surviving being your purpose. You know longer have to live underneath the surface. Open your eyes.

Say to those with anxious heart, “Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The recompense of God will come, But He will save you.” Isaiah 35:4

This was written in response to the Word of the Day Challenge: Inky