My butterfly ballad

At one time for years I thought I had this perfect swagger to the dance I shared with the bottle. I was sure I could model this ballad after Travolta. I am sure now it would have repulsed ya

At one time I thought I was elegant with each step in sync. Little did I know my feet were toppling over one another in a my inebriated stagger. The ballad I waltzed to was in my head. The record needle scratching, and screeching to the beat of my feet. My audience begging me to stop, might as well have been dead. I had a zombie state of mind. Thinking I was oh so fine

As I now fast forward to my dance today some years later, my feet do indeed move more swiftly in-sync. Today when I wake I start my day off with prayer, and from there I am not in a need of my same dance partner I had in the booze. The ballad has changed its tune in my heart. It’s pure art, made from musical notes of peace and serenity. Something that with each chord rings a melody of redemptions freedom played upon my deepest vein

As I place my feet upon the floor they are in one accord with the notes orchestrated by Jesus’s hand, not my own nor made by man. My feet glide, and they are free of my toes entanglements. My ears hear the melody of the new ballad written for me. I dance oh so beautifully, because I am free of the bottle that once enveloped my whole being. It’s my butterfly waltz

My once very broken wings were given flight of dance. So colorful, and youthful this new ballad made for me by Him…Because I was made for Him by Him. The ballad my feet dance too are a hymnal to my heart, pure art by my makers hand..Jesus takes my hand, asks me for this dance, as we cut a rug oh so snug in His will

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/08/25/

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An Angel on earth, Timmy!

Have you ever spent precious time with an Angel on earth

Have you have ever had someone accentuate every part part of your being. Have you ever had your soul set fire by another human being

Have you ever smiled just because of the presence of someone in the room that warms your heart. Have you ever felt like God gifted you an Angel for a day

Well I did, Timmy! Timmy is an Angel on earth. He may not be able to communicate as we do, but his very presence accentuate’s every part of the human soul. He brings a smile, and warmth that is almost unexplainable

Have you have ever thanked God for a divine appointment with someone who gave you such an appreciation for life, because they lit you up from inside out! Well I did, I met Timmy!

Timmy and I making hearts with our hands! He is an Angel on earth! 😇

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/20/

Fools Gold in that bottle I held…Personified allibies

Just a shell walking in a lifeless form, a mannequin with barely a beating heart. Flat line waiting for the paddles, nothing could rattle my covetness for my numbness slathered

Dormant my personality lied, the zeal suppressed with alcoholics hallucinate hands. Reside in my own cell, an alcoholic hell. Sit in my own sin, wallow in my trademark venom

Never could pass the test, and any zest I may have had was laid to rest. Idolized the moisture of my enbrieated state. Filled with hate 

Fools gold in that bottle I held, meld into my skin. Personfied allibi, fake beyond each disguise. Lost with each sip, lucid goes as I got hosed

Swam with the sharks. Ravenous, blood thirsty. Needed that alcohol to occupy my soul. No holes, just bury all my secrets in my skin. Soak it up, let it be my end

It was my first thought upon waking the craving pulsating, and trampling my brain. It was the last thought upon laying my drunk head into a blackout state, death hovered 

This was the alcolohic me, numb me. Take away the pain for just one more moment. I hurt so bad inside. No where for God to reside. Hibernated, and bathed myself with my poison. My soul took cover, and demons hovered. Lurking in the night, I became as dark the tonic I drank. Rank with stank

Crippled by my own hands, hardened heart. Selfish, drowning in my own spite

Feeding off the juicy lies that came as day turned into night, and night turned into day. Spiced it up, made stuff up, my life was but a lie. Hiding in my bottle, this was the alcolohic me

No more hiding, no more numbing, no more running. For Jesus salvaged the wreckage I made of my life. Gave me hope, and took away my craving. He took my heart, and transplanted it at the cross. Carved my name, where His body hang in death for me on Calvary 

Laid the bottle down, and now I am unmasked and even somewhat vulnerable. For the love, laughter, and life I have now I would never trade it for a day of desperation lost. For I was off the grid, but now am found. In Him I abound. My masks are no more, my smile is real. In Jesus was my appeal….pathos no more, joy so surreal. That character no longer resides, for I am alive and set free of the dark cage of lifeless air suffocating me

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-2

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/19/

I can’t even blame credulity, I know my hand. I know my part

I can’t remember a time when we were not about thrive, it was a pep talk into perseverance because our daily was one more bolt that was about to be stripped. We had a bag full of all the bolts we vanished its divets from. Repeatedly trying so hard to screw them back into place. A rivet away from homelessness

So co-dependant it would make ill sick, how we pushed for so long I still don’t know. We desperately clung to our 19 year old selves. We had faded away in youth, just as morning faded into night. Swindled by our on sight, it was time to grow up. Yet we didn’t

Pretending we became so very good at, a tea parties delight. Dressed to the kilt with all the latest of gadets. When the rent came do we scrambled to have it. Looks can be deceiving. Dress up a family of four for all to adore, and they will not see famished rising from within. Covered skin with name brands to no end

Even tried to abide as much as the crisp cool dark that we had encased ourselves in would allow. Upon these moments a fire fly here and there was all the light we could muster. Running with dark like a wolf, the angels always trying to get back hold of our then bones we were so scathed from false pretense 

I can’t remeber a time when we were not about thrive. It was who we were. How we would come upon the monies to pay the next bill in wait. Ever heard of this thing called a job?!? The bible quotes a man who does not work will lack bread for his table. This was no fable. Did you ever really get a look at our seating for four. What was missing, a feast yes that was one. If you looked further you could see our kids jeans hanging from wasted waitslines their weight melting away from lack of nourishment. There was no flourish, we had not much left of our remains. Dig the graves make them ready, for we are barely going to make it

I had already said my goodbyes to all that tried to make way for health. The wealth we wrapped ourselves in was a farse. We were a travesty. Take off your tapestry you will see we are empty

Empty your pockets of only lint. Even more vacant were our hearts. For we had long resided elsewhere. We had no longer a barring even Gorilla glue would not do. We were beyond the fix. We were beyond charities hand.  People had caught on, fraudulent demeanor. No pity, for we dug ourselves into a slimy pit of ruins. Living in ancients past, I feel sorry for our story is a really badly written county artist song. Not melodic in the sing along. In fact turn that crap off 

I can’t remember a time when we were not about thrive, did you honestly think we would survive living like that? We were just a moment away from the loss of it all. We had been laughed at, and seen as fools. All our schooling went on the wayside for we were always trying to thrive. We never were about DO!! You think the two don’t walk hand in hand? Fools

We did not survive we are now casaulietes of our own demise. I can’t remember a time we were not about thrive. Maybe if I was to blame credulity I could say, but I know it takes to two to make a mess of a life that was one. I see this today with much clearer vision. Not gullible to my part, and I guess we both should have seen there was nothing that could keep us from falling apart. Spiritually ill makes for clean kill.

Praise God for His forgiveness reigns down from above, at the cross I found myself weeping for forgiveness, and asking for His unconditional love for all of four of our loss. Regain our spirit, and renew of hearts soul. Lord God save us, make us fragrant with your shed blood for us. Allow us to see the dove take flight, and once again reside in your light. Years later I thank you for I believe you have worked circles in miracles of at least three of these lives. Prayer, and fervency of thy will not mine. For my Lord God His love is divine. He has restored the years I allowed the locusts to eat away. How great a God is He

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/15/

Pristine the puppeteers hands gleam

Written for the Word of the Day challenge: pristine

Porcelain doll, so dainty and fair. How long have you been sitting in there?

High upon the top shelf of the lit curio cabinet, I see you are scatched and dirty

You are definitely a sight Amoungst the reburished dolls, they are so pretty. Gleaning white. I bet you were just as them at one time, a doll makers delight

Your eye sits out of socket, you’re a little twisted in your posture. Not beyond repair, I see you sitting you are not beyond my stare

Porcelain doll, so dainty and fair. How long have you been in sitting there?

I imagine with all the dust fallen in your hair, it has been awhile. Your not groomed or styled like the rest

I bet you are one that holds much value, and history too. I can see my hands taking great pride in you. A new stiched outfit, your hair with a soft curl around your little face

I will buff you, and shine you back to your prime, and put you back in place. Antique, you are. Priceless, I as a doll collector I see your value. I look pass the grease smudges on your face. I see you white as snow in its place

When my hands are finished with the making of you new I will place you back upon the top shelf. You will no longer lean on the one sitting next to you. You will stand with elegance. Every eye transfixed to the top shelf, where you are no longer tarnished

Porcelain doll so dainty and fair, look at her skin glowing white, almost translucent. She is near perfect. Her cheeks soft pink with matching lips too. I wonder who takes claim, who’s hands does this doll belong too? Famous hands I trust with the look of that of a near perfect touch

Pristine his hands, and face gleam at the new work His eyes see

White as snow, white as snow, thought my sins were as scarlet,
Lord I know, Lord I know, that I’m clean and forgiven.
Through the power of Your blood, through the wonder of Your love,
through faith in you I know that I can be
white as snow.
~Maranotha Music

Phillipians 1:6

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion

Photo Credit me; I have always thought I looked like a doll in this picture. I am poised in a doll like fashion. My head tilted just right, and my face dolly like. My skin fair, and face with a hint of pink. Likened to a doll, how neat. I bask at the change in me from my makers hands. This is not what my portrait would have resembled a few years back. I neeeded reassmbled. For my maker to make me clean, and place in back in my rightful place. He did that indeed!!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/14/pristine/

Bridges of life…two prompts in one

I can’t be forgetful of where I came from, always mindful my will must be aligned with God’s in the bridges of this life. Bridges will always be part of life. It is my choice with which whom I walk them, and I choose to walk with God hand in hand

Two bridges in the same State Park. One is a man made structure with beams, and construction materials for support. The other is made from the land we hiked. With limbs from trees, and branches. Both unique in their beauty. Like that of the bridges of life. Some are made by others structurally sound for the crossing. Some are a walk of faith. Each step creeks with forward movement. Yet we need at times to cross them both. The beauty in that of the bridges of life. Never be to quick to burn a bridge, for the rebuilding may not come to pass. Hike the bridge, like you hike through life. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. In stride…maybe with a friend by your side. Mine is God He walks all the bridges of life with me, hand in hand

Photo Credit me; Riverside State Park. Spokane Wa. Hiking the massive terrain. One on a beautiful summer day when the trails are endless with hikers detours left and right. The other on a brisk winter day. The bridge of branches covered with frozen snow. Both beautiful in their own right. Both walked over, and we made it safe to the other side..

This is also part of of Cee’s https://ceenphotography.com/2022/04/12/cffc-wood/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/02/08/w-o-t-d-c-forgetful/?relatedposts_hit=1&relatedposts_origin=4856&relatedposts_position=0

Goofy is as goofy does, intention-ally me

Extrovert by nature, I don’t need the bottle to articulate. I am just a happy go lucky person, and the grass is greener where I now reside. No need to hide 

Was scared to be sober. Felt booze was always in order. Needed it so I thought, I actually am better without a drop. Goofy I am, and even goofier as sober I stay

I am outgoing, and bubbly it just secretes from within naturally. God has rescued, and revived me in the clarity I have daily. I am a better person dry

I am not in need of that toxic waste, it fooled me into thinking I was better off with its vibrance seeping from within. No need to wet my soul with the bottle of old

For today is yet another day goofy, and authenticity reigns. I do not have to fake it to barely make it. I am alive, and free without that dreaded bottle to cling

Extreme has always been my person, for I am an alcoholic. We thrive off of drama, and chaotic ruins we wade in. The differance is with my Lord and Saviour, I don’t have to dwelve there 

Held captive no more, goofy is as goofy does. Laughter is my new step. I lept into the arms of my gracious Father. For there I find sobriety, one day at a time. Sober fun is easy, less dramatized too. I long since changed my shoes, and was made brand new

Bid the bottle adieu, and dry I will stay yet another day. Less complicated is this barren land. Free of muddy tear stained puddles, made by me. Thank you Jesus for setting me free!!

Free to commuicate without sloppy, slurring words. Absurdity no more. Goofy I adore! Sober is me! Intention-ally me!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/04/11/intentional/

Heavy with makeshift flask in hand, finally I reached dry land

Free write using the https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/03/26/flask/

My hand used to be heavy with a makeshift flask, whatever I could do to get my hands on my poison to then drink it deep within my skin. Absorbed until it wore off. The first sense of any sensationalism I would repeat. Oh how neat my life seemed, inside screams of hallow cries for help then gulp. No more. I was fine again like a broken record I still played. So I drank as long as the needle still dropped, and I couldn’t hear the screech once I poured. Alcohol I adored

A tattered water bottle always in hand thinking I was fooling you, fooling me what was red and looked like Gatorade was really wine. Oh and I was fine, just fine

My hand was always heavy with a makeshift flask I drank so heavily I was deaf and driven by the rage I felt so deep, shaky hands and blood scorned breath

A broken bottle opened upon the sidewalk’s edge drinking the moisture from the bottle just enough to get my taste buds aroused, then I would drink it fast and hard. Enough to make me blind, deaf, and dumb~NUMB

Misery lurked inside that makeshift flask, but I just couldn’t feel enough your asks. I didn’t care to be your friend, nothing could compete with my plastic flask. I buried all my secrets with each sip, camouflage with what resembled rage

The air around me was a cage, I was shackled to my own incomprehensible demoralization. Lost in my blood stained sin, progressive it was always rage again. Crazy was the game, and I was always ready to play

Today I don’t carry that makeshift flask. I surrendered, and was set free. My Lord Jesus rescued me. The cage was opened, and out came the fragmented pages of me. I realized my powerless over that toxic drink. I couldn’t drink just one, and 100 was never enough. I couldn’t, He can, and I knew I needed to let Him. Jesus took me in, even though I spat all over Him. He is that gracious, and good

I surrender myself to this beautiful life of sobriety one day at a time. Knowing I have to do whatever is suggested of me. The air around me has changed, my five senses are clear set afire. I see the most beautiful things I used to take for granted. I see the most vibrant of colors, and smell. No more self made hell

There isn’t enough as of today to get me to wish to go back the other way. My life is beautiful, and I love being able to feel. I don’t have to hide my makeshift flask. Traded it for the hope I carry proudly for all to see. No more hiding for me. I am alive, and I am soaring high on eagles wings shackles fell beneath me long ago

God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. I will always share my experience, strength, and hope! My life is dope, and not the kind you shoot into you veins. It’s dope with the gift of sobriety, and the miracle of life that sits here writing this today! God reached in, and shook me to my core. Spiritually ill no more! I today am not that alcoholic horror

Free of my makeshift flask heavy in hand. My feet are on dry land, soil wet with seeds to be turned with the tools I need to keep me from having to pick up that next drink. All contingent on my spiritual house. God Has my will and life today, this disease is progressive so my prayer is for this I stay

But those who hope in the Lordwill renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~Isaiah 40:31

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/03/26/flask/

On this particular day

On this particular day I decided I feel like writing about my most recent “big life change”. It has been two long years for me(with my breast cancer journey), and after MANY resumes I landed a wonderful job.

God did for me what I could not do for myself. I was getting many computer auto generated, thank you for your application but we will not be moving forward with you at this time. For the life of me I could not figure out why. All jobs I was more than qualified for. All jobs I was more than capable of doing, and doing well.

One day an email came back personalized with sincerely, and a name attached. So I felt God leading me to call this company, and ask what I was doing wrong or how I could change my game to have my resume considered. This gentleman said he had never had anyone ever do this. He was intrigued. I was invited in that day to interview with him, and two other’s from the Human Resources Department. I was amped, and felt God was moving mountains.

As we walked out after the interview he said it was a pleasure, and he would call me on Monday. Well he did indeed call me, and said I was in the running. He needed three professional references, and if they checked out I would not be called in for a second interview like he originally intended. He said they hoped to have this buttoned up by Wednesday. He was very clear that I would know either way. Wednesday came, and went with no word.

In the interim I just kept praying as well I kept submitting other resumes. I did email him to thank him for the opportunity to interview, as well again on that Thursday to see where they were at in the deciding process. Silence all day, it was some what maddening.

Later that day after four, as my husband was turning the key to our door my phone rang. It was him, and I couldn’t contain my excitement. He was calling to offer me the job, and emailed me my offer letter. So God was moving mountains. God stepped in at a time where I was feeling so lost, and I needed to know why nothing was coming through. My guess was I have been out of work for three years. At 48 years old next month having the title of receptionist at a corporate office, of a very large company here is not to shabby. As well Monday through Friday is just awesome! My body is still tired, and it will take some getting used to. My brain though couldn’t handle much more of this being at home day in and day out business. My brain doesn’t do well when it is idle. As well I will be contributing again.

So on this particular day I wanted to share what God did for me. There is so much hope in my life today, and all by the grace of God. If you’re ever stuck, I am sharing this as proof of a God who does indeed move mountains. He is faithful when we go to Him, and cry out to Him in prayer. He hears our cries, and He is a loving God. So I say with much gratitude, Praise God for my new job. I will praise Him in the morning, and all day through. For my God always has my best, I start my new job Monday the 17th! Wohoo 🥳

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/author/talesfromthemindofkristian/

What are the chances

What are chances even in the midst of a storm you can see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that still has yet to be revealed

What are the chances on a clearly cruddy day you can still lift your hands in praise with an attitude of gratitude because your heart Jesus can heal

What are the chances as the pandemic gets worse, and we are still wearing our masks you can muster a smile underneath for the gift of life you breathe. Being still knowing He is God

What are the chances as the fear of our nation grows and feeds off its sheep you can know Biden may be President but Jesus Christ is King

What are the chances I know for me I will not be under their lock and key. For Jesus my savior holds the world in His hands. Faith over Fear, what are the chances this is how you are living your life. You too can be set free

Have no fear Jesus is near, and He hears the cries of His people. Chances are He already knows how this story ends…amen!

“You’ve never gone too far that God can’t redeem you, restore you, forgive you, and give you a second chance”.

What are the chances He’s given given you already more than one. I know He has me

I’ll take my chances with my Savior and keep looking up, because He has picked me back up time and time again. Chances are He already knows how my story ends…

Forgiven II by Thomas Blackshear

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/01/05/chances/

We reflect🎀

We reflect; 🎀 beginning 2022 reflecting on all God did for us in 2020, and 2021!
This past 2 years has brought me down a very long journey, one I could not have endured if not for the grace of God. As well the gift of my husband, my best friend, and side kick. Both have been my saving grace through 4 surgeries. Today though after both breasts were removed I am breast cancer free. No radiation or chemotherapy. Just new breasts with no feeling, and no sensation in my breasts or Latissimus Dorsi Muscles. A lot of acceptance comes with all of this. My body is tired, and at times my soul has been.

What amazes me most is the miracles of family, and friendships that will always be dear. I got to see my beautiful Brie Ortize (cheese) after 6 years, how great a God we serve! I had many wonderful memories in the midst of my very personal storm. Thank you to all of you, and you know who you are!

One day at a time I am healing. My last surgery was a little over 8 weeks ago, and I am ready to put all of this behind us. God has been more than gracious, and my husband has been such a beautiful support. So tomorrow as it is a new day, and as well New Year I am grateful for the gift of the breath of life. This beautiful life has been granted to me, and I am trying to embrace this once again “new me”. Acceptance is key, and trusting God in the process. Blessings to you all, Happy New Year!

Right after my double mastectomy, 8 drain tubes!

My daughter came! All glory to God!

My heart, my son!

My lovely mom, who has always been there for me without fail

My step daughter her awesome husband, and our perfect grandson Huddy!

The twins and our famous Euro basketball player soon to be son-in law

Friends for 25 plus years

Our best friends! Love our life

Christmas 2021, Huddy and us! The best!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2022/01/01/beginning/

Gathering

Why I love gathering at Christmas. Let me be a light as I am gathering with my family and friends. Amen!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2021/12/23/gathering/