Posted in Writings from my heart

Until your last breath…

In honor of John Thomas Boyd who passed away 11/24/2019 at 11:17 am. Pops it was such a blessing to get to be your daughter in law for the time we had together.

Thank you for loving me like your own, you were quite a man. You had such an engaging personality. Always flirting with the nursing staff at your assisted living, and always the comic relief.

I have never been with anyone when they took their last breath, but there we sat. Knowing you were almost ready to go meet Jesus. As we recited the Serenity prayer, the peace that fell over the room was unimaginable. Then we went right into the Lord’s Prayer.

Your head had faced the wall for 4 straight days, and as you drew your last breath you turned in look of Brad and I. You took us in, and your last breath as well. You were gone just like that.

We had so much peace knowing you believed in God, and Jesus died for you. For us it meant you were free of the pain, and you were probably dancing away to Sinatra. We will always love you, and you will always be a part of us until we meet again. I love you. I miss you calling us up needing more honey, peanut butter, and crackers…

Dad only ate the Bear Honey, him doing his commercial for us 🤣
Happy 4th of July pops!
Thank you for your service!
Our wedding day, you wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Look at that smile
11/24/2019 gone to be with Jesus ❤️
  • Psalm 73:26
    My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Posted in Writings from my heart

Comic relief, while my breast was fondled by my doctor

I had to see my surgeon yesterday. He confirmed every stitch that was holding my left tissue expander in place were pulled, and no longer holding it in place. So it is now mobile, and that is why I felt so much pain.

My expander had actually flipped, he asked if I wanted him to try by hand to flip it back into place. I wasn’t thrilled at the idea, but if it meant helping with the pain until surgery I was in.

I was in a lot of pain in that breast, as well torn muscle on both sides. So my kind husband grabbed by hand, and I leaned into my doctor. He was very much grappling my breast with twists, and turns. His hope was by manipulating it, it might flip back. A couple times he thought he got it. Nope it just flipped again, and again. He tried!

It was more than an unpleasant feeling. As well very awkward with my husband on one side, and my breast in my doctors hand. My husband is so great at making uncomfortable moments funny. He had some very colorful jokes, and he was on a roll. He had us all laughing. For a few minutes I forgot all about the fondling of my breast. It was something you would see on a comedy television series.

I am so grateful my husband was able to take me yesterday, and for his comic relief. By the end of my appointment I felt very good with the end result. Even though my expander was not able to be flipped my surgeon is so encouraged on the end outcome. Of course jokes were made about that as well. I really needed that laughter, and I realized how serious my days had gotten with all the pain.

I feel lighter today, and know I need to try hard to not get caught up in the depression pain can bring. I need to remember this too shall pass.

There is so much to be said for an attitude of gratitude, and a little bit of a reality check. It was all needed, because this week hasn’t been my best. Nor have I been. So I thank God for always helping me get to where I need to be. All it took was a little fondling of my breast, and some comic relief that I won’t repeat… 🤣

Posted in Writings from my heart

Thank you for your sacrifice, and service to our country 🇺🇸

The land of the free because of the brave!

I am from a long line of military family, and I am so grateful for their sacrifice for our country.

My late grandfather served a lifetime commitment to the United Stated Air Force
My late fatherin-law military school before going off to the Navy

These are just two fine men of many men, and women in my family who served, and some who still serve. I thank you for your sacrifice, and service. What an honor, and I miss you both. Pops, and grandpa I love you both! 🇺🇸

Posted in Writings from my heart

The harpist playing upon my heart strings

15 minutes until my tele-med appointment with my breast surgeon. Bruised on my sides, tissue expander flipped, and swelling quite a bit. Sleep I desperately need, Lord please calm my anxious heart…

My head whirly about with so much thought, I almost feel sick at the stomach. Stop that, oh it is you Lord speaking to my heart. Nudging me, pulling me in your direction. Whispers softly the Holy Spirit, so keen to know me. Look up

Oh yes God I believe you have called me out, it is worry. Yes Lord I read your word daily, write about how faithful a God I serve. Yet here I sit squirmisly anxiety ridden. Nail biting me, no. Frivolously doing the what ifs, yes. Yes Lord you want ALL of me. I am holding back a few strands of my heart strings. I hear the harpist pluking, and the melody missing the keys. Flat as can be. Yes Lord this is me. You know me oh so well

My heart feels heavy laden. Like a raven wanting to take flight. Yet here I sit in recognition of it. So Lord I give you ALL the strands of ALL my heart strings, my life! I yield it ALL to you. I hold nothing, empty I sit. All the walls are down. Send the angelic harpist back, let her melodic music pronounce I am in tune with you. Maybe a lullaby to pass the time of my mundane mind 

As I bow my head to pray, and give you ALL holding nothing back. Laying prostate at the cross where my veil is lost. You uncovered me yet again, the sober Lisa can’t escape the clarity I find in the harpists rhythmic sounds. When it is out of key I know it, and it is ALL I can do to get on my face in seek of thee

Lord rid me of ALL this anxiety and worry. Help me to entrust everything to you. Allow the music heard to be the same as I speak from my mouth, and mesh with my heart. Thank you for knowing, and loving me so much to gently melt your truth upon my heart

Okay harpist let’s hear it now, play until you’re all played out. Then the pianist can sit in for you, and carry on with the same tune…

Play loudly upon my heart in unison we can sing, Praises to thee

6 Do not be anxious about anything,(A) but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.(B) 7 And the peace of God,(C) which transcends all understanding,(D) will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-

Posted in Writings from my heart

Popped some tags oh wait those are my stitches

I feel like the Macklemore & Ryan Lewis song Thrift Shop. “I’m gonna pop some tags”. Instead I popped my stitches, and I don’t have Twenty dollars in my pocket.

Yeah I wish lol

Well when I do something I do it to the finest. I woke in immense pain in the middle of the night, and I knew something was very wrong with my left breast.

Making my way to the mirror, and with the pain running down my left shoulder to my elbow I could see the deformation in my left breast. My husband could not believe what he saw, he too knew it was bad!

So they are stating I popped my pectoral muscle stitches dislodging, and rotating my left tissue expander. It is so morphed looking. It all moved right, and is hard as a rock in one lump area. They have taken me down to zero activity. As well I am in quarantine from all people/stores. I can’t even get comfortable. Yet it is not life threatening just excruciating.

I have a tele-Med appointment Tuesday. I am pretty sure the outcome will be to ready me for surgery. So what was to wait until after the holidays, is not going to happen. As well all the sweet progress I have made on our new place has been put on hold. I am trying to hold onto Pslam 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.

As well this is all totally out of my control in all honesty I did nothing I am not allowed to do, except maybe listen when my body was pushing back.

So there it is as I write from my pillow on my bed, and drinking tea. Of course thinking it could not be any sooner that this gets taken care of. This is the most miserable I have been since my double mastectomy. Here is to some sleepless nights, and still seeking His will be done not mine. I do know though this too shall pass, I just wish the pain wasn’t so great. So my presence in WP may be a little less, as I try to rest here and there. God bless you all, His will not mine!

Google images
Posted in Writings from my heart

Make America God Again, no matter the outcome

Toby Mac

With emotions, and anticipations at an all time high today. I know tomorrow whom ever is our President I will be the same as I am today. I will continue to pray for the President of our country. Either way, it does not change that I will continue to pray daily. As well it certainly does not change my heart. It may change how I pray, and what I choose to pray for, it is that simple.

I know who I voted for, but either way my prayer for today is that we can “Make America God Again”! Amen! So as we all sit here wondering, what will be the outcome of what seems the most critical election in History, nothing has to change. God has ALL authority! He already knows the outcome. I myself am to stay near to Him, and continue on in prayer. Just like any other day, I did my honor as an American. I voted, and I take great pride in that. May we all take pride in The United States of America which was created by the hands of a great, and mighty God. Which was founded on “In God We Trust”.

Blessings to you all today. May we be loving, gentle, kind, compassionate, accepting, and a blessing in another’s life today!

Life is most defiantly 10% what happens, and 90% how we react to it. Make today be beautiful no matter what the outcome. Choose to be the difference.

I would encourage every person who loves this country to pray and to turn out by the millions to vote. Don’t just watch the news and be depressed. Stand up for America! Vote for leaders who love this country, defend the Constitution, and support law and order. Most importantly, pray.” Franklin Graham

Posted in Writings from my heart

Home is where the heart is!

Tonight will be our last sleep in what has been our home for 2 years now. 2 years of wonderful memories. 2 years of celebrations, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and many game nights with our grown kids.

As I sit here in my barren living room I am a little reminiscent of all God has gifted us with these last 2 years.

We had a father pass away last year this next month, and a mother who had to go into memory care. Another mom who has fallen madly in love with a great fellow. Breast cancer, and sobriety birthday’s. Times where people came for AA meetings when Covid first started. This home has proven its worth in our hearts.

We have one daughter in route on a flight to Belgium with her love who plays for the Euro NBA. Another who had her first baby last year, and blessed us to be grandparents. Our Hudson is all boy too! Another who is the twin to the one on the plane who has come to learn herself outside her twin. She loves fishing, hunting, and has become an outdoorsy gal. Then there is the one who lives in Florida, who is Assistant Manager at Starbucks. As well a Disney World freak! Then there is the son who moved to Seattle, and started his schooling in business science. His girl has a biology major, and I don’t think Spokane will see the likes of their Vegan faces again.

All unique, and God gifted. Each changing, and growing into their persons. This holiday we will be in a new place with less faces. Then add Covid into the mix, and who knows?!? My husband, and I love the “empty nest” analogy. We love our kids! We also love being able to just get up, and go wherever whenever. I love watching us grow, and our kids grow. Life is amazing with gracious lessons. With amazing loving moments that make the heart yearn for more blessings. I have learned to accept my life wherever God has me.

I have had my highs, and some very bottom feeder lows in this life of 46 years. Right now I am content right in the middle. This is just for this moment, for tomorrow I do not yet know.

All I know is we are to wake up in the morning expecting a bunch of muscly men, a box truck, and hands that are ready to help us be out of a place we have called our home for 2 years. So today as I polish up the last of what needs to be done, I am in all praise of all the gifts God has given us in the 2 years of living here. We are moving up in life, as some would say. Though I know to never take life for granted, and I will always be grateful for this home. It has had more than enough laughter, tears, and all the makings of the saying “home is where the heart is”.

I think my husband, and I will have a great last night in this place that was gifted to us from our Lord. Then tomorrow when we close the door, we will hold onto all the memories we made behind the key in the rooms we will be saying goodbye to. Then head out to start anew!

Son, and his girl with Brad and I
Birthday celebration with my mom, and her love
Grandpa & Huddy matching Carthartt beanies
Mads & Silas he plays for the MBA, saying goodbye until we see again
The twins and their guys
Brittany Spears/ dad and daughter 53 and he loves Brittany 😂
Posted in Writings from my heart

Good Sunday morning y’all, Happy Sunday!

This picture was given to me on our drive to our new place yesterday. It has been a very early, very cold unexpected winter. I am always looking for photo’s opportunities.

I am not made for the cold, I am a summer loving gal. The older I get the more this is confirmed. God is always faithful to reveal His presence. At one point while doing laundry at our new place, with no furniture we sat our old bodies down on bare carpet and Zoomed. Recovery is always key for our spiritual well being. They go hand in hand! God helps us with sobriety, and we can’t have God without sobriety. Thus our spiritual house always needs to be in order.

This picture is a picture of our beautiful summer sky in the middle of our now winter wonderland. God gifted it to me. God knew what I needed in the bitter cold winds, and in it getting under my skin. He gifted me a picture I was able to keep hold of for the day. The beauty in this life, no matter sunshine or snow. Maybe a little bit of both He is always there! Faithful for He cares for us!

This is the the day the Lord has made, may we rejoice and be glad in it! God bless you all this day!